Monogamy: Is it Realistic or a dated concept?


I can recall a time in my life where just the thought of my husband or significant other cheating on me threw me into a jealous rage. Makes sense right? When you decide to partake in a monogamous relationship it’s a given that the relationship is supposed to remain between the two of you.

I brought up this topic once before to my Facebook “family” and I had no takers in joining this discussion that has since ultimately ended up as a pleasant recurring topic of discussion between myself and my husband.

Is the concept of monogamy realistic, or is it a social/emotional construct that people have become accustomed to over the years as society has “evolved”?

I like many others in the world am a part of a monogamous marriage/relationship, I’m married to one person, we’re committed to one another singularly. We have decided that the emotional and sexual dependencies that make up much of our relationship will only be met/fulfilled by one another. Some might say to choose a monogamous relationship is to choose insanity. Why is that?

Biologically speaking monogamy makes no sense, women go through the process of menopause between the ages of 40 and 50 (some as young as their 30s), men on the other hand continue to produce sperm well into their 90s. In the case of biology it would make no sense for a man to maintain a monogamous relationship if he wanted to maximize in the amount of children sown from his “seed”.

So I ask why do we take part in the emotional painstaking challenge of a monogamous relationship, if ultimately it’s a losing battle? Now I’m not arguing that all men are cheaters and ultimately everyone’s man is going to run out on them for a younger woman to make more babies.

My argument is that monogamy might just be based solely on what’s socially acceptable and in turn equates to our emotions. If there were no labels such as cheater, whore, adulterer, etc., would we feel so strongly about our partners being involved emotionally and sexually with others?

Why do many of us turn our nose up to a woman who has no qualm’s with a cheating partner? Why do we label her “weak” or dumb because she has an understanding of the boundaries of her relationship?

Are we the delusional ones?