“Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, more positive parts of your life. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act.” – Mayo Clinic
My problem with forgiveness is not the act of forgiving, but the misconception that many people have with what it means to forgive.
Most people positively correlate forgiving and forgetting, which in my opinion is a conundrum. Forgiving for me means, no longer giving the person control of your feelings and harboring feelings of hate and vengeance, but it doesn’t wipe away what they did to me.
So while I can forgive, forgetting is something I probably won’t be able to do especially in the case of being hurt by someone and their constant refusal to acknowledge the pain they caused me. (like I’m some crazy person and the ish didn’t happen)
And I’m wondering why most people when in conversations pertaining to forgiving tend to lead with “oh just forgive them and forget it”, why is dealing with a situation and how it makes you feel never an option? Why is the first and only option in most cases the proverbial, “sweep it under the rug” and act like it never happened? I don’t work like that I don’t understand the people who do.