Forgive and Forget

forgiveness

“Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, more positive parts of your life. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act.” – Mayo Clinic

My problem with forgiveness is not the act of forgiving, but the misconception that many people have with what it means to forgive.

Most people positively correlate forgiving and forgetting, which in my opinion is a conundrum. Forgiving for me means, no longer giving the person control of your feelings and harboring feelings of hate and vengeance, but it doesn’t wipe away what they did to me.

So while I can forgive, forgetting is something I probably won’t be able to do especially in the case of being hurt by someone and their constant refusal to acknowledge the pain they caused me. (like I’m some crazy person and the ish didn’t happen)

And I’m wondering why most people when in conversations pertaining to forgiving tend to lead with “oh just forgive them and forget it”, why is dealing with a situation and how it makes you feel never an option? Why is the first and only option in most cases the proverbial, “sweep it under the rug” and act like it never happened? I don’t work like that I don’t understand the people who do.

T

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4 thoughts on “Forgive and Forget

  1. So many people seem to equate forgiving with forgetting, as if it’s the same thing; and so many others link the two together, as if you can’t even have forgiveness without also forgetting. And they act as if the only reason you’re still hurting is because you didn’t magically “get over it” (as if the other person’s actions were inconsequential). I don’t understand why all the responsibility is shifted onto the person who was wronged. It sort of seems like a form of victim blame, and it’s a really lazy way of handling things. Yeah, actually dealing with it / holding the other person accountable never seems to be an option. I’ve been in numerous situations where people didn’t want to acknowledge that a particular person did something wrong, and they believed that silencing the victim would solve all the problems. If they have no responsibility to admit they did anything, why do you have a responsibility to forgive / forget? All it accomplishes is creating an environment where people can hurt whomever they please, and get away with it.

    1. I agree 100% people jsut assume or just flat out don’t care to acknowledge the role that they play in admitting that their actions or words are what caused the situation in the first place.

  2. I disagree, I don’t think it’s easy at all no matter who it is. Especially in the case that the person refuses to acknowledge the role that they played. Ultimately my emotions and feelings are what matters and while forgiveness is something I can do moving on will never happen in any instance until the other party or parties involved acknowledge and possibly accept how their actions affect(ed) me. Wish I would just move on when someone does something to me but I’m not wired that way.

  3. ONLY GOD FORGIVES SINS BY STEVE FINNELL

    Contrary to what men believe, only God can forgive the sins that have been committed against Him. Joseph Smith nor Brigham Young can forgive sins. Catholic priests cannot forgive sins. Lutheran ministers cannot forgive sins. There are no men dead or alive who can forgive the sins that men commit against God.

    ONLY GOD FORGIVES SINS!

    Isaiah 43:25 “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins.

    ONLY GOD FORGIVES SINS!

    Micah 7:18 Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity…

    Only God pardons iniquity. Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, Catholic priests, nor Lutheran ministers have the authority to pardon iniquity.

    Daniel 9:98 To the Lord our God belong compassion and forgiveness, for we have rebelled against Him;

    Mankind has rebelled against God and He alone can grant forgiveness.

    THE SCRIBES UNDERSTOOD ONLY GOD COULD FORGIVE SINS!

    Mark 2:6-11..the scribes…7…He is blaspheming; who can forgive sins but God alone? ….10 But so that you may know that the Son of Man has the authority on earth to forgive sins”—He said to the paralytic, 11 “I say to you, get up, pick up your pallet and go home.”

    The problem with scribes was they did not realize that Jesus was God in the flesh. Joesph Smith, Brigham Young, Catholic priests, Lutheran ministers, nor any other men, are or were, God in the flesh.

    DID JESUS GRANT THE APOSTLES THE AUTHORITY TO FORGIVE SINS? NO HE DID NOT.

    Acts 8:18-22 ….20 But Peter said to him….22 Therefore repent of this wickedness of yours, and pray the Lord that, if possible, the intention of your heart may be forgiven you.

    The apostle Peter did not grant forgiveness to Simon, he told Simon to pray to God for forgiveness. Note, Simon was already a Christian.

    THE PROOF TEXT.

    John 20:19-23 ….23 If you forgive the sins of any, their sins have been forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they have been retained.”

    Jesus was not giving Peter and the rest of the apostles the power to grant forgiveness of sins to men on an individual bases, Jesus was not ordaining them as priests with that power. Jesus was giving Peter and the apostles the authority to proclaim the terms for forgiveness of sins. Peter and the apostles did just that on the day of Pentecost. (Acts 2:22-41…36 Therefore let the house of Israel know for certain that God has made Him both Lord and Christ—this Jesus whom you crucified. 37…Peter and the rest of the apostles….38 Peter said to them , “Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.)

    Peter and the apostles did not forgive sins on the Day of Pentecost nor on any subsequent day. They declare God’s terms for pardon.
    FAITH: John 3:16
    REPENTANCE: Acts 2:38
    CONFESSION: Romans 10:9-10
    WATER BAPTISM: Acts 2:38

    Christians are not asked to confess to Joesph Smith, Brigham Young, Catholic priests, Lutheran ministers, nor any other men, in order to have their sins against God forgiven!

    Christians are to confess their sins to God in order to receive forgiveness. (1 John 1:5-9 ….God is light… 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from unrighteousness.)

    1 Timothy 2:5 For there is one God, and one mediator also between men, the man Christ Jesus,

    The only priest standing between men and God is the high priest, Jesus Christ.

    NOTE: Confessing sins and asking God for forgiveness is only available to Christians. Non-Christians must have FAITH, REPENT, CONFESS JESUS AS LORD, BELIEVE IN HIS RESURRECTION AND BE BAPTIZED IN WATER IN ORDER TO THEIR SINS FORGIVEN.

    ONLY GOD FORGIVES SINS!

    ( All Scripture quotes from: NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE)

    YOU ARE INVITED TO FOLLOW MY BLOG. http://steve-finnell.blogspot.com

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