Soooo, I’m taking a break from making videos via YouTube, because honestly I’m just not feeling it at the moment, but I did promise coverage of my favorite show which airs its 5th season this upcoming Sunday. So instead of giving nothing I’m going to at least express via words. Without further adieu…
Season 3 – Game of Thrones
The season picks up where season 2 left off, the war of the five kings is coming to an end, Stannis Baratheon fails at his attempt to storm Kings Landing, Renly Baratheon is murdered and with his death comes the alliances of Houses Tyrell and Lannister/Baratheon. Rob stark has gathered all of his allies in the North and is awaiting his turn to destroy the Lannisters, while at the front line of the war Rob meets this nurse chick and they court kinda and fall in love. In exchange for help Catelyn reaches out to this guy who basically controls this bridge and can help them win the war. He’ll help but only if Rob marries one of his daughters (homies daughters ain’t hot at all I can see why he’s using the war as leverage nobody would marry these chicks in normal conditions). In the middle of this Catelyn’s dad dies so they have to go where she’s from on their way to the bridge dude to pay their respects to her pops.
Tyrion gets sent (I think not sure) to the front line of battle after securing a win for House Lannister at Kings Landing, for which he was shown no appreciation by the devil boy king Joffrey (I hate Joffrey, I think I’ve expressed that on several occasions). Tyrion has a thing for whores and ends up falling for a whore named Shae with whom his father Tywin finds out he’s smashing and threatens Tyrion telling him he needs to leave these hoes alone and stop tarnishing the Lannister name, its bad enough he was born half a man.
Of course Tyrion doesn’t listen to his father and ends up taking the hoe back to Kings Landing with him. Jamie Lannister is being used as a bargaining tool for Catelyn Stark to get back her daughters (that she left mind you) at Kings Landing, only thing is she doesn’t know Arya is off gallivanting around with the Hound and Sansa is the only one left at Kings Landing under the care of the Queen. Jamie and Brienne (the chick knight) get caught up with some “thugs” and are taken to the castle I was telling you guys about in the season 2 video but it was actually season 3 (my bad) Jamie gets his hand chopped off for being a smart ass, they end up escaping (I don’t remember how, bear with me people y’all should’ve known damn well I wasn’t going to have this all pretty and together, have you see the first two season overviews uh yeah).
Back at Kings Landing Tywin is getting shit done, Joffrey is now marrying Tyrell girl Margery and the kicker is Tyrion comes back to only find out he now has to marry Sansa, because Joffrey is a little prick and he thinks this will be some hilarious shit to force Sansa to marry his halfling uncle. (he’s been doing shit the whole time to torture Sansa, he’s a maniac, he’s killing small animals and whores, this dude is the devil for sure). Tyrion secretly makes his hoe/secret boo thang Sansa’s hand maiden and explains that he has to marry Sansa.
At the wall, the Night’s Watch is preparing for “winter” (All they keep saying is winter is coming, the shit is annoying but evidently the seasons last for years and shit in this world, so winter is coming and its gonna be a long ass winter) Jon Snow falls in love with the wildling girl, they smash in a hot spring and he convinces her homies he’s one of them and they take him to the head of the wildling rebellion. He convinces that dude he’s no longer a part of the Night’s Watch and ends up finding out all the information he needs about dudes upcoming attack on the wall and betrays him and the chick he’s been smashing, he escapes and is making his way back to wall.
His little brothers escape the carnage going on in Winterfell with Theon Greyjoy and they meet up with this boy and girl, the boy is a “seer”, like Bran and they work together to get North to find this “Raven” that Bran has seen.
While this is going on the ice zombies are killing and turning anyone they come into contact with new ice zombies.
Over in the “middle east” Daenerys gets her dragons back and leaves Qarth, she’s on her way to this city where they have a bunch of Slaves, I think this is where she buys her unsullied (mute dudes with no ding dongs) army. She finds out her right hand man is actually a spy, but somewhere along they way dude fell in love with her but the cat is out of the bag and she wants his ass gone. (this might’ve happened in season 4, I honestly can’t remember, I’m going off of memory so again bear with me).
Jon Snow ends up reaching Castle Black at the wall and tells them what he learned about the rebels, but not before his girlfriends shoots his ass with arrows.
And that kids is pretty much Season 3 of Game of Thrones.
Season 4 Game of Thrones
At the wall in the north the war is starting between the Night’s Watch and the wildling rebellion, at the wall are a majority of the wildling army and at the gates Jon Snow’s girlfriend and her goon mob.
Bran and his crew split up, he sends his little brother and his companion away (she was captured in an earlier season and made a servant in Winterfell, she likes the kids and the people so she decided to stay with the Starks). Bran crosses paths with Jon Snow but decides to keep on his path and his brother never knows he was only feet away from him.
At Kings Landing Sansa and Tyrion marry and Joffrey the devil boy king makes a mockery of their union and tries his best to embarrass Sansa and Tyrion, Shae is jealous of how caring Tyrion is to Sansa. Cersai finds out that Tyrion loves a whore, unbeknownst to Tyrion “littlefinger” aka Lord Baelish helps him and puts Cersai on the scent of another whore whom Joffrey kills. Tyrion lets Sansa know he isn’t trying to hit that, and that they’ll only stay husband and wife long enough for him to think of a plan to get her back to her peeps. Lord Baelish (Lord Baelish had a thing for Catelyn Stark back in the day before she married Ned Stark) is sent by Tywin to the Vale of Arryn to woo and ultimately marry Catelyn Starks batshit crazy sister, which he successfully leads her to believe he loves her and they get married.
Arya and the Hound find their way to Arya’s mother and brother, Catelyn and Rob Stark. The bridge dude is shocked to find out that Rob isn’t going to marry one of his daughters after all but instead some other dude is being offered up to marry one of the daughters. Bridge dude is pissed but seems to get over it, or at least we’re lead to believe so, a big banquet his held in honor of Rob and his new wife who is now pregnant, and during this banquet Rob’s bannermen betray him, Rob, his pregnant wife and mother are all brutally murdered as well as most of the army that wasn’t in on the plan. Arya rolls up with the Hound at the end of what’s now called the “Red Wedding” (they stabbed his wife in the stomach yo, this show ain’t noooo joke). Since the Hound can’t get paid from a dead mother and brother he decides to take Arya to her batshit crazy Aunt up in the Vale of Arryn.
Tywin is happy to learn his allies did their part in killing the last of the Starks, so there’s one less person to worry about trying to gain the Iron Throne. So now the ex Stark bannermen, House Bolton run the North and the Frey’s and Tully’s run Riverrun.
Theon (Robs homey who pretended to kill his brothers) is captured by this psychopath name Ramsey Snow (remember all bastards have the last name snow) he is Lord Bolton’s son, the traitor that killed Rob, his wife and his mom dukes. He tortures the shit out Theon, cuts his peen off and everything, this guy is psycho. His goal is to get on his fathers good side so that he will no longer be a “Snow” but a Bolton. Ultimately this happens.
Stannis Baratheon, isn’t detoured from his goal of taking the iron throne with the help of the red-haired Witch and her voodoo magic vagina, he decides he needs to take Kings Landing another way. The Night’s Watch sent out ravens (ravens carry messages, it’s basically Bell Atlantic for medieval times) to everyone warning them of ice zombies (White Walkers) and the wildling rebellion. So Stannis ends up sending an army there to help the Night’s Watch fight the war at the wall.
A new “house” is introduced during season 4, House Martell of Dorne, with the announcement of Joffrey’s impending nuptials to Margery any royalty that aren’t involved in some kind of war are making their way to Kings Landing for the wedding. The Prince of Dorne being one of those people, but he’s only coming to seek revenge on the Lannisters for the death of his sister by the hands of the Mountain (he’s related to the Hound). Joffery marries Margery and is poisoned at the wedding (wooo hooooooooo, this was 4 seasons in the making, I’ve never been so happy to see a character die) the only person who cares about Joffrey dying is Cersai, his bio dad/uncle Jamie doesn’t even care (by the way Jamie finally makes it back to Kings Landing and Cersai, doesn’t want him anymore because he’s handless and he was away for too long, not for the more obvious reason being they are brother and sister, that’s some nasty shit) I don’t think Tywin cared.
Immediately Cersai thinks Tyrion did it because Tyrion hates Joffrey and has expressed this on more than one occasion (Margery’s grandma killed Joffrey by the way, she’s roofless, she slept her way to the top when she was a spring chicken. Her sister was promised to the head of the house of Tyrell, but she did that thang to him and he married her instead) so now she wants Tyrion and Sansa dead, she thinks they both conspired to have Joffrey murdered. Sansa gets out of Kings Landing with the help of some drunkard who was hired by littlefinger, she ends up in the Vale.
In the meantime, Shae is gone because Tyrion made her leave because he wanted to keep her safe, so now he’s on trial for killing Joffrey because his sister hates him.
Over in the “middle east” Daenerys has three big ass dragons and an army of mute ding dongless dudes behind her, they take over the slave city Meereen with the help of mercenaries now her eyes are set on Kings Landing. Except she doesn’t really have control of the dragons, who are eating sheep and burning kids and shit. (Honestly Daenerys ain’t about that thug life, as much as I want to see it for her, her heart is just too big).
Tyrion is now on trial, a trial he’ll lose no doubt, Jaime tried to convince him to run he said no, so he goes on trail and guess which hoe bitch lies and says he killed Joffrey? SHAE! yes that bitch betrays him! When all his smooth talking and wits fail him Tyrion decides he wants to fight his way out, with Cersai choosing a “champion” for him to fight, of course she chooses the biggest baddest mofo in the land, the Mountain. The Prince of Dorne sees this as his perfect chance to avenge his sister so he volunteers to be Tyrion’s champion. And they fight, it looks like the Prince of Dorne is going to win but he doesn’t. Tyrion is crushed, he ends up taking Jaime up on his escape offer and decides to escape but before he does he goes to his fathers chambers where he finds none other than that whore bitch Shae (she smashing the homie or the father rather) he chokes that hoe out and then kills his dad.
Back in the Vale, Lord Baelish is acting like he has a thing for Sansa, batshit crazy aunt ain’t having that and threatens to toss Sansa’s ass out the kingdom by way of the big ass exit hole in the floor of the “great” hall. Sansa’s been promised to her little cousin but that doesn’t happen because littlefinger kills the mom after becoming the king and says she killed herself by way of jumping through the big ass hole in the floor.
The season wraps up with Arya killing the Hound and making her way to the Vale, Jon Snow reuniting with his boo thang but she gets killed because there is a big ass fight going on and no one knew she wasn’t going to kill Jon so now she’s dead. The wildlings rebellion retreats and with nothing to lose Jon Snow goes out to face the leader to get more answers about the white walkers.
A bunch of little stories happen in-between all of that but that pretty much is Season 4 of the Game of Thrones. Don’t forget to tune in Sunday @ 9pm on HBO for the premiere of Season 5. I’m super hype!
These overviews are something else and not in a good way, I’m telling you guys its worth it go back and watch seasons 1-4 it really is worth it.