I’m not sure who said time heals all wounds, but I’m sure they meant physical and not emotional. If there is no closure in any situation the “wound” will always reopen, I’m living proof of it.
I have mommy and daddy issues (who doesnt’ right), I have completely healed from my daddy issues because I have closure thanks to my dad. He apologized and acknowledged his lack of appearance in my life growing up, we haven’t spoken in roughly two years and we probably won’t speak every again and I’m ok with it (he has stipulations on our having a relationship that include his wife and two daughters and I’m not going to be forced to deal with anyone especially people I don’t like or respect, but that’s another post). His absence no longer leaves a void, because I have answers.
My mother on the other hand has apologized but it was one of those “If I did anything to hurt you I apologize” apologies, which in my opinion are not apologies at all.To say the word “if”, implies you have not acknowledged or have the slightest clue what you did to hurt someone. She has yet to take the most important step in our healing process which is acknowledgment, the lack of acknowledgement is what keeps reopening my wounds. I’ll go a good three or four months and be semi-ok with our relationship and then I will wake up one day and all of those negative feelings will come flooding back.
I continue to try to rationalize and internalize my feelings, forcing myself to accept what’s unacceptable, my feelings are valid things were done and said that have impacted my life and by forcing myself to take accountability for someone elses actions I’m only doing harm to myself. No matter how great all other aspects of my life are, I will continue to circle back to these feelings I have towards her. If I never spoke to her again for the rest of my life it would probably be easier, out of sight out of mind right?
So do I think time heals all wounds? No sir/madam. Only resolution and closure can heal and help any situation from the pettiest of situations to the most serious.