Seasonal Friendships…

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There is a saying that some friendships are for a season, but should that be applicable in the case of best friends? When you think of a best friend you think of a family member, a ride or die homie who is going to be there no matter what. A person you can count on, who knows all of your dark secrets because most of them they were there for.

I feel like self-reflection and growth is a major component of my existence, often I reflect on relationships past and present and two relationships come to my mind. My childhood best friends whom I’m questioning as an adult if its safe to say that we were actually best friends.

One of two young ladies I met a year before the other, and I thought she would always be in my life but we made two mistakes,1) living together and (she denies to this to date) 2)her admission of having romantic feelings for me and my response, rejecting those feelings (she was my “sister” I could never think of her in that way). It was pretty much all downhill after that, we both said and did some not so nice things to each other that we both think there is no coming back from. I don’t trust her and I doubt if she trusts me, which leads me to the mind-set of asking the question how could two people who were like peas in a pod get so far off track if they really were so close to call each other best friend and sister?

The second of two ladies, we’ve always had a weird yet loving relationship, I met her around the same time I met friend one, but we didn’t become friends until a year after our first introduction. (The three of us were best friends, a tag team of three) Before we had kids she and I were the party girls, we had fun together, we argued, made up and partied some more. She had a her child we still partied I had mine; not so much partying for me, (she had and still has super supportive parents, I on the other hand… if you read my last post you already know the rest) which is pretty much where the distance between us started, we lived in the same city yet years would go by without seeing or speaking to one another, yet she stayed in constant contact with the first young lady.

I had become the outcast of the group, our trio, she says to this day that I’m her best friend but I find that hard to believe especially when extremely important events took place in her life that I was left out of until after the fact for whatever reason, while the first young lady was always included; is always included to this day.

Again, maybe I’m just finally realizing something that was always clear, but I was too blind to realize back in the day, they were my best friends/sisters but I was never theres.

I know people who have best friends and when important life altering changes happen their friends are there to support them, they spend time together, they vacation together, they practically raise their children together. This is definitely not the case, but hey you live, love, learn and hopefully grow from every situation that is placed in front of you. I don’t regret ever loving and investing my time into what I thought would be life long friendships, honestly they taught me I could love strangers harder than I love my biological family.

The lesson in this? some people are in your life for a season, what you do with their company and friendship during that time is all up to you…

T

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5 thoughts on “Seasonal Friendships…

  1. The whole “best friend” thing has been a mystery to me my whole life so far. I’ve had many… uh, self-appointed best friends who never really acted like it. My actual best friends growing up were my sister and my dog. Now it’s my husband and my sister. I can relate a little to what you’re saying… I’ve had several acquaintances who always said we were best friends, but always seemed to be better friends with other people, and never invited me anywhere. I could never figure out if they were lying about us being best friends, or if they just didn’t realize how loosely they were using the term.

    1. I think they’re words/intentions don’t match their actions, saying someone is a friend or best friend but then not communicating with them or including them in your life presents a different story. I find it interesting how people think.

      1. That’s most certainly true… it always feels strange / unsettling when a friend’s actions don’t match their words. I’ve always doubted myself in these types of situations, because people usually tell me I’m being paranoid. But a disconnect that large (between words and actions) is usually pretty obvious. Lol, sometimes I am at a complete loss as to how people think.

      2. I’ve found most people are users (and I know it sounds a little jaded) from my experience as long as they can get what they want from you, you’re “friends” as soon as that changes and they aren’t getting what they want whether that be advice, company or a loan, you lose usefulness in their minds. It’s really sad and eye opening, I’ve finally reached the point where I’m done being there for people who are either one sided or no sided “friends”.

      3. I see… that is sad, but it’s better to know the truth about people than to be in the dark about their intentions and to keep getting hurt over and over again. I think I’m nearing that point too, where I don’t have time to give people as much of a chance anymore, because it usually ends in disaster.

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