Random Thoughts: Work Edition

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So I’m the only black person in a “front” office position in my workplace, the other black person works in the mail room, there are three other women of color, Asian and East Asian. All of the other women in my office are (you guessed it) white women, majority of them come from money, all live in center city and run in pretty much the same social circles.

I’ve noticed that they tend to exclude myself and the East Asian girls, but they include the one Asian young lady who is Indian. Now, I try not to speculate on anything, I’m an observer, in my head I wonder what makes the Indian young lady so different from myself and the other ladies? Two of the other ladies are married with children like myself, the other is in a relationship but she lives in center city, I think she’s hip and trendy, but to my knowledge she doesn’t come from money.

The Indian young lady, doesn’t come from money, she doesn’t live in center city, but she does have an amazing spirit and personality. The point of this random thought is I wonder what makes her more relatable then the rest of us, more specifically me?

I’ve known plenty of white women from past employers who weren’t standoffish with black women (but then again they didn’t come from money either), I know I don’t give off negative energy, everyone in the office always talks about how friendly I am. But I wonder why it seems I’m left out of the loop so to speak, I don’t think its age, the only thing I can think of is the stigmatism that’s automatically associated with being a black woman especially a black woman who doesn’t hold the special socio-economic status that would allow me to appear more relatable.

Now I don’t think for a moment that any of these women are racist, but I do think they may have a preconceived notion of who they think I am that blocks them from being able to relate with me.

Maybe it’s because I don’t drink Starbucks or carry around a Louis Vuitton bag, naw I think it’s because I’m black (I kid, I kid, probably not because high-siddity black women don’t see it for me either)

I’ve been taking biotin for my hair loss, it seems to be working WOOO HOOO!; the dermatologist was on some bullshit, she wanted me to buy some four hundred dollar fungus cream when I don’t have fungus. What do I look like, I’m cool heifa you won’t get me with the okey doke.

I’ve been really happy and care free lately, I think it’s because I decided to focus on the people who love me for me and not put any energy into the people who don’t. I wouldn’t say I don’t care about those people anymore, I’ve decided that they aren’t important enough to impact my life.

My dad called me out of the blue after not hearing from him for like two years on his birthday. He told me Jesus told him to call me so he could “save” me (insert side-eye here). I told him we should clear our minds and hearts and get a paternity test to determine if I’m his biological daughter, he said ok I haven’t heard from him since. LOL

I purchased some new purple rimmed glasses and you can’t tell me I’m not fly! (It’s the little things)

I met two really AWESOME ladies via my girlfriend.

Baseball games aren’t for me, sitting in the sun baking and sweating my ass off is not a good way to spend any day let alone a Sunday.

That’s all the randomness for now until next time!…Share if you’re feeling brave!

T

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8 thoughts on “Random Thoughts: Work Edition

  1. I always wonder about social dynamics like that too… I’ve been on both sides of that kind of situation (sort of). I’ve been the one left out (for racial, socio-economic, and other reasons). At other times I’ve been included, and been uncomfortable with the way certain others were excluded. The group always seemed to express said exclusion in one of two ways: either I had to sit and listen to everyone else talk about how so-and-so “just doesn’t mesh with us”, or there’d be an awkward silence whenever I’d ask, “Oh, well why can’t so-and-so come along?” Maybe I was supposed to know already. It’s a shame when people decide whether they can connect with you or not based on preconceived notions, without trying to really get to know you.

    Good luck with the biotin! Glad you’ve found something that may help. $400 fungal cream?! Geez…

    I love that idea! Only focusing on the people who enrich your life/impact it for the better. For me, it sort of means starting over/slowly rebuilding my social circle, but so far, it’s been waaaaay worth it!

    Lmao about the conversation with your dad! Wow… My dad isn’t religious, but he definitely has some issues with denial. I speak with him regularly (my mom being the one to really avoid), but I can tell when the conversation is heading in a certain direction, and it gets to me.

    I love your new glasses! They look awesome on you.

    1. Yeah, workplace scenario’s always seem to be complicated for me when there is a huge lack of diversity all around. I’m used to it but I’m not because this environment socially is really new. I’ve never felt isolated like this without reason. Like I get if someone doesn’t like me, but for everyone to pretty much express that I’m a nice person and then to be left out of invites to happy hour and stuff like that leads me to wonder if its a matter of race or the socio-economic stuff. It’s touchy but I’ve been going back in forth with these thoughts for sometime now.
      Thanks I love my new frames they make me feel sassy!

      1. Those frames really are a beautiful shade of purple, with a kick-ass shape! But yeah, I’ve never understood work situations like that… it’s very frustrating, especially (like you said) when everyone’s always commenting on how nice you are/how much they like you, but you always find yourself left out of their activities. I had a friend who stopped inviting me places when a medical treatment caused me to gain weight. She never stopped talking about how “great” I was, but she suddenly didn’t want to hang out. A month later, when I lost the weight, she began inviting me out again. I had no idea what the problem was until another acquaintance told me. When I asked her about it, she told me, “But you don’t understand the pressures of staying popular and keeping thin friends! Besides, you’re thin again, so it doesn’t matter.”

      2. Smh, people have issues, and the worst part is they try to make you think something is wrong with you, when something is wrong with them.

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