Recap: Being Mary Jane S3 E3 – Sparrow


“We choose our fears and sorrows, long before we experience them.” – Khalil Gibran

So Mara Brock Akil tricked us into thinking something bad happened to MJ’s mama with all the anticipation leading up to last night’s episode. Fortunately for us, Mama Patterson will be around to bestow her jewels of wisdom upon us for another week.

Unfortunately we have to give an ***Spoiler Alert***  R.I.P to Dr. Lisa Hudson, it seems that with all the issues Lisa carried with her throughout her life, the fall out with MJ was the last straw. After cooking and eating her last meal, ceremoniously cleaning and dolling herself up, Lisa takes a shit load of prescription medicine with a glass of wine. At the same time MJ is in her bathroom tending to her face, she feels a little ill, which in my opinion I think her feeling ill at the moment Lisa dies is an indication of how connected they were even after all the drama over the past few years.

This episode gets deep, three things black folk don’t like to deal with, homosexuality, mental illness, and family member caused molestation. This episode deals with two of the three.

After finally answering her phone at work to Niecy MJ finds out that Lisa committed suicide. For most of the beginning of the episode it seems MJ is numb or could be reinterpreted has her being cold. (I like to think personally she was numb, I mean I get ole girl slobbed down your ex, but she was your friend and offed herself.) MJ’s friend Nichelle, Mark and Kara stop by her home to comfort her and reminisce about Lisa. Nichelle asks MJ if she’s spoken to fuck boy David because he found Lisa’s body.  (David showed up at MJ’s house the night Lisa committed suicide and called her over and over until MJ deleted his contact and blocked him) She talks to David and ask him why was he at Lisa, to his reply “to check on her because she’d been avoiding his call since the night of the accident”. The conversation ends.

MJ takes lead on making Lisa’s funeral arrangements, but is annoyed when she finds out Mama Patterson notifies Lisa’s mother, whom Lisa hasn’t spoken to in over 15 years. MJ heads over to Lisa’s house where she ends up crossing paths, with Lisa’s mother and step-father (who molested Lisa, but has some how convinced her mother that it was a lie Lisa made up because she’s bi-polar) MJ doesn’t want chester at the funeral and I don’t blame her. Lisa’s mother convinces him not to go. (I will never understand how a woman will choose a man over her children.)

Day of the funeral, MJ stands over her friend and sheds a tear. She and David are together and she tells him how she avoided crying and thinking of what to say in the eulogy, she explains she finally broke down in her closet while looking for her outfit, because the dress she picked reminded her of the last good memory she had with Lisa. David makes the mistake of telling her “it’s not your fault, you know”, and she gets him all the way together. (I’m so tired of this dude, I’m tired of seeing his face and hear him try to explain his fuckboyness away to make himself likable.)

Funeral procession time and this ninja(chester) shows up! MJ almost shows out, but the reverend intervenes and helps keep everything cute. Nichelle is singing “His eye is on the Sparrow”, this song is pretty and depressing at the same time.

MJ delivers the Eulogy…

“So yesterday I stopped for some coffee and the guy that works at the coffee shop said ‘Good Morning, how are you?’ and I said ‘Oh I’m fine. How are you?’ because that’s what you say when you go to a coffee shop and somebody says ‘Hey, how are you.’

But I wasn’t fine.   I wasn’t fine because today I’m burying my oldest friend. I realize that I’m a liar.  I’m a big liar. And a good liar.  We all are. We’re all just pretending we’re ok when we’re really not.

And you know it’s not even like it’s enough for just us to lie… we really expect everyone else to lie too.  It’s like, we’re all afraid that the whole world will come falling down if we’re honest with each other all of the time.

I absolutely now believe that the lies we tell each other… that’s what killed by friend Lisa.  My sister.

So I know that a lot of you know that Lisa was originally from Ohio and moved to Atlanta when she was 8… and that she was a straight ‘A’ student and graduated from Meharry Medical School…

Lisa was also molested by her stepfather from the time she was nine until she was sixteen and she carried that pain with her everyday for the duration of her life. Her whole life, she was in pain.  She also suffered from depression… and she suffered from unrequited love… and she suffered from the silent treatment way too many times.

I used to ask her a thousand times… ‘How are you?’… ‘HOW ARE YOU?’  But I don’t know if I actually wanted to hear her truth. I don’t think any of us did. And now she’s gone.

I just want to say that Lisa touched so many lives, she literally brought life into the world and I think the best way to celebrate her life is to stop being liars and actually embrace the truth.

Just make sure that you tell everyone that you love that you will love them no matter how UGLY their truth is… you’ll still love them.”

That eulogy was everything! It’s sad that MJ and Lisa didn’t get a chance to repair what was broken. This episode had me angry, crying, and shaking my damn head, it was good and I’m super excited about this season.

Next week Jilly from Philly is introduced as Patrick’s ex, i.e., Niecy’s mama.

Talk about drama, drama and more drama.

If you aren’t watching you should be, catch being Mary Jane, Tuesday’s @ 10 pm on BET.

being Mary Jane



3 thoughts on “Recap: Being Mary Jane S3 E3 – Sparrow

  1. This show has a lot going on. And I’m glad I checked it out. The set is beautiful, and the acting is good. I’m trying to catch up on all the episodes in order, but I watched this one too. MJ did seem very numb; like she was still trying to process everything that had just happened, trying to manage all of the different types (and sources) of pain all at once, all while still trying to function in reality, where practical things still needed to be done. Her family (and a lot of people in this show) don’t seem care as much about truth/justice as they care about how things “look.” The eulogy really was beautiful – great writing!

    1. I loved that eulogy I think so many of us could benefit from living in our truth on a daily basis, even if it’s ugly. I’ve found from family members and friends that people misinterpret honesty and truthfulness with being judgmental, and they may miss out on some jewels of wisdom because they’re so stuck on being ashamed of their truth. We all do dumb shit, life IMO is about learning from the dumb shit and not letting it define you.

      1. I think you’re right. And yeah, I’ve seen a lot of people do that – mistake honesty for judgment. Lmao, I’ve done dumb things, and the most rewarding part of it is the lesson learned. Most people wish that things were perfect (I’m no exception), but what’s even better than pretending, is accepting reality and making something beautiful/better with that.

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