Recap: Being Mary Jane S3 E4 – Being Kara


“We must let go of the life we have planned… to accept the one that is waiting for us” – Joseph Campbell

The writers of this show are definitely giving us what we need in a storyline this season. MJ is breaking down the wall and showing some fragility, I love seeing the “human” side of her.

I love, love, love, that we’re getting an in-depth look into Kara’s world, I felt like seasons one and two should have given us more insight on what makes her tick, but I get why it didn’t.

What we know about Kara is that she works her ass off, and her family comes second. Finding out her son potentially has a learning disability adds to her already hectic life. Not saying it’s a bad thing, but if you’re a career driven woman you probably shouldn’t start a family #imjustsayin. And as we saw in the episode Kara agrees, she admitted something that most women will never admit, being a mother is hard as shit and it isn’t for everyone. Just because you have the ability to have a child(ren) doesn’t mean you should especially when you’re doing it for all the wrong reasons.

MJ is using sex to grieve Lisa’s death, enter cutty buddy aka buffed piece of chocolate with whom MJ calls when ever she needs some lovin. MJ isn’t handling Lisa’s death well, (and honestly she shouldn’t be, losing someone who played such a huge role in your life isn’t something you get over, over night) everything reminds her of Lisa, so sex is how she’s dealing with it.

Cece is back for a brief appearance, evidently MJ has some inside spy, CIA type people on her payroll, because she gets some entail on Miss Cece; down to the birth certificate, and finds out she’s using the money to pay for a book store. I’m having a love/hate relationship with Cece, while I hate that she’s extorting a sista to fulfill her dream/”blessing”, I love how she get’s Miss MJ together. In the midst of sex grieving and avoiding an envelope addressed to her from Lisa, Niecey makes a brief appearance for resume advice, which helps her land a job. #random But I’m sure it’s leeway into an introduction/change to Niecey’s storyline.

Back to Kara, I don’t think she’s a bad mom, I don’t think she’s as good at being a mother as she is a producer. I can imagine it’s super hard to be a woman in her shoes, society beats us in the head with the idea of this universal mother, and that every mother works the same. Some women don’t have the maternal instinct that we all presume all women should have just because we have a womb. And instead of embracing it and helping women out who don’t have a clue instinctually most of us pass judgement. There is no rule book or step by step guide that breaks down the do’s and don’ts of what makes a great mother or parent for that matter. I am glad that she at least sees a problem and is willing to fix it most people are just fine with living in dysfunction.

After getting in one last (I doubt if it’s the last we’ll see of him, realistically speaking a woman has needs, and making her children the center of her world isn’t going to make those needs disappear. Unless she plans on opening that can of worms with ex-hubby again) romp with her love interest Gael, Kara decides it’s in the best interest of her children to reinvest time and energy into them. She and the ex-husband discuss the idea of her moving back into the family home to be with her kids.

I love the complexities of Kara’s character, she’s on the not so appealing side of single parenthood. One that we don’t see very often in mainstream media, where the women is financially responsible for the children and husband after the divorce. She’s stepped into the shoes that we see so often men filling, and yet we feel empathy for her, if it were a man not being physically or emotionally available for his children we’d call him a dead beat. But because she’s a woman and we consciously choose to look at the situation differently #doublestandards.

I feel empathy for her character, because I’ve been conditioned to believe in the fragility of being a women. We’re hit with the idea over and over again that women can’t possibly balance being mothers, wives and career driven without something lacking in some or all of those areas, which in some cases might be true, but for the most part IMO it’s bullshit. If your family and career matter to you equally, you will put in the same effort to make sure each is fulfilled and all is great in both worlds, you don’t necessarily have to sacrifice one for the other it’s call balance. In Kara’s case I think her career matters more and that she’s putting in the effort to create a better environment for her children because it’s what she’s expected to do as a woman and a mother.

Another episode I thoroughly enjoyed, again catch being Mary Jane on BET Tuesday’s @ 9 pm.

What did you guys think of the episode?