Trust

I will never fully understand the obsession some people have with “checking” up on their partners via social media. If you can’t trust your significant other to behave him/herself online then I would imagine in “real” life they’re 100x worse. And “checking” up on them via social media should be the least of your concerns.

Trust is a necessity in any type of relationship, if don’t trust your partner you probably shouldn’t be with them. I think unrealistic expectations of your mate is one of the biggest reasons trust goes out the window (that and not trusting them to begin with, in any case you should probably do some soul searching to find out why you have trust issues and if the person is worth your trust) men and women don’t automatically go blind to other men and women just because they fall in love.

I’d be delusional to think my husband doesn’t still find other women attractive. He’s going to find them attractive because his love for me doesn’t make him blind, just as my love for him doesn’t make me blind.

I don’t check his phone or social media account because I trust him, I trust that we both have the same mutual respect for our relationship. I trust that he’ll respond in the same manner I would if a woman hit on him (it’s flattering obviously to be found attractive by the opposite and/or same sex depending on what your into) he would be flattered and keep it moving with whatever he was doing before she tried make her “move” and obviously I have/would do the same.

Trust is something you either have or don’t have, and no amount of reassurance from your significant other is going to make you trust them especially if it’s something deeper.

I honestly think it’s sad and a little neurotic to consciously put yourself through that much stress where you turn in the lead detective on the “I can’t trust this dude/chick case” called your relationship. It’s madness!

I’d rather be at peace, alone; then driven mad because I’m don’t trust my partner.

T

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8 thoughts on “Trust

  1. My husband is a little nosy, but not in the “I need to check your fb, I think you’re cheating on me” kind of way. It’s more the, “Oooh! Is that a new videogame?/ Are you drawing something? Let me see!” kind of way, which I like, because it means a) we’re interested in the same things, and b) he doesn’t mind if I do the same thing to him, lol ^-^.

    But seriously speaking, I think you’re right – trust is important, but you can’t have a good relationship (or any peace) if you’re downright paranoid. Because that level of suspicion is never satisfied. The woman I used to live with was like that… I remember being called into her bedroom at least once every few weeks: “Can you come in here for a minute? I think we need to talk about trust.” She’d talk for half an hour, and it would always turn out that I hadn’t actually done anything to make her distrust me, and she was just being paranoid. When I met my husband, she began acting like I was “cheating” on her with him – “You don’t love me!”, and stuff like that. After that ordeal, I decided that I didn’t want to be that kind of person in my relationships.

    1. I was that person before in a past relationship and it’s not fun at all. Insecurities are the typical culprits, I decided wasn’t going to be that person in my next relationship and I’m not and its sooooooooo much better to be in a sane trusting, loving relationship.

      1. It was a brave move to change. I’m really glad you have more peace of mind now ^-^! It inspires me, because I have have my own insecurities that I’m trying to change.

  2. What’s about if your significant other refuses to add you as a friend but adds other woman shouldn’t that be a red flag and they have a history of checking and Not to mention when you asked them about it their first respond was to lie and say they never requested anyone but mess up and send you a screen shot of them requesting someone? I definitely think there’s a fine line and if can’t be my friend online but be friends with randoms then I think it should be a question on what are you doing online..

    1. I get that, you have to decide if you want to invest time in trusting someone that may not be trust worthy on or offline.

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