Random Thoughts: Extra Random hold the mayo…

I think too much…I definitely over think most things or situations.

I’m my worst critic…I can really be hard on myself at times.

Sometimes the thought of being on an island alone with no one and nothing to worry about sounds like a great way to live, but then I’d miss my husband and kids and end up sad.

I don’t have any friends, I wasn’t alright with the idea of no friends for awhile but now I’m alright with it. I think it takes someone like me to be friends with someone like me. I know all of my flaws and positive attributes and most people can’t handle a person that’s going to be semi-filter-less and honest even when they don’t want honesty. And honestly most people that have come and gone out of my life over time didn’t really look at friendship in the same manner as I did and currently do. I have plenty of books and hubby. 🙂

Sometimes I wish I could stomach being fake to “make it” in this world, like be strategically fake. But I can’t…

I wonder if the aliens who brought us here will ever come back or if they are here, reveal themselves to us and give us the real story behind our origins.

This warm ass winter is scaring the shit out of me…I figured by the time the planet really got fucked up, I’d be dead and gone and not have to live through all of the craziness that happens when “we” destroy the environment.

I’d really like to crash a wedding, wedding crashers style. I semi-crashed a wedding over the weekend. I didn’t know the bride or the groom but my husband works with the father of the bride. I’m sure they will be scratching their heads trying to figure out where they hell they know me from when they get the wedding pictures back. ^_^

I regret going to grad school right after undergraduate, I have a ton of debt for two degrees I’m not using. It’s super disheartening because the field of work I want to be in, I feel like I can’t fully get into because I’m not willing to start from the “bottom”. I’d be making less than what I currently am all because I have no present experience.

Is it weird that I’m in my mid-30’s and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up?



7 thoughts on “Random Thoughts: Extra Random hold the mayo…

  1. Same here on the whole friends thing, lol ^-^’. A decade of almost nothing but abusive friendships has taught me that having friends just for the sake of it isn’t worth it. I think, by this point, I’ve whittled my friendships down to almost zero, and it’s a lot less stressful this way. Every time I’ve stepped back and thought about why a friendship hasn’t been working, the root cause always seems to be one of three surprisingly simple things: 1) fakeness, 2) jealousy, and/or 3) ignorance (about my physical health). And it’s these simple things which have made it so complicated (if not impossible) to please others. Sometimes I wish I were better at being fake as well, because it seems to pay off so much more.

    I don’t think it’s weird to not know what you “really” want to do yet, no matter what age you are. Society puts so much pressure on people to “just hurry up and choose one” that many of us wind up settling for whatever comes our way, or whatever we’re told will make the most money. And it’s already been scientifically proven that that’s a stupid way to treat people. It doesn’t produce a society of fulfilled adults, it just leaves people feeling restricted and wondering what could’ve been.

    I know how you feel about wanting to change fields, but having to start over. It can be very discouraging. I hadn’t even thought about the cut in pay though, I agree that’s a serious thing to consider. I think a big part of it for me was the environment I was in a few years ago – people constantly telling me I was too sick to accomplish anything. What field would you like to be in?

    1. I’d love to work in HR or Marketing something creative, what I do now is soooo not about helping people or being creative.

      1. I see… yeah, lack of creative outlets on the job can be frustrating. And you seem like a really creative and deep-thinking person! What do people in HR and Marketing do?

        I’ve only told a couple people (for fear of discouragement), but I want to go back for astrophysics and artificial intelligence. Not only did they not have those programs where we went, but I also noticed a distinct air of disrespect for the sciences at that school. I remember the prof in one my philosophy classes actually saying, “But can science really tell us how the underlying structure of the universe actually works?” My classmates rolled their eyes when I said, “Yes, that’s the point.”

      2. HR, typically has a few areas, employee services, talent management, organizational effectiveness, consulting and employee & labor relations. Marketing , it really depends, there are companies that deal with branding and marketing other companies outside of their company. And marketing within a company is pretty much the same thing but on a smaller scale because you’d only be working with the company you’re employed with. I think astrophysics and AI is great, I’ve always thought you’re super smart,and creative. That school didn’t focus on a lot of things smh, and that’s why they’re struggling currently to compete with other institutions.

      3. That all does sound like it would suit you well! Seems like it calls for someone to be smart, creative, and professional. Aw, thanks! I really enjoy science, especially branches of physics. Yeah, you’re right… that school is a huge waste of space. I remember at one point, they discussed maybe having some courses on quantum mechanics – I was so excited. Then they dropped the idea, simply because they felt that science wasn’t important and that it would have “too much math” in it. Wow, that’s a shame that they’re struggling, but it’s not surprising.

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