Six Things I Hate about Snow Storms

Everyone is losing their damn minds because the weather guessers have guessed that a big snow storm is heading to the Northeast over the weekend.

I live in Philadelphia and outside of our love for soft pretzels, tasty cake and cheesesteaks, we also love to exude our supreme skills of pettiness during snow storms. Which include and are not limited to the following;

1- Coning/Chairing your parking space – This is necessary if you plan on leaving your home in a vehicle after a storm and live in a neighborhood where garage parking is not an option. (Oh and there will be blood if you call yourself moving someone’s cone or chair from the parking space that they dug out.)

2 – Last hour shoppers – No milk, eggs or bread, because people equate a snow storm with the zombie apocalypse.

3- Bad weather drivers – These people exist outside of snow storms, they can’t handle snow, rain or spit on the road. If you’re scared to drive during bad weather keep your dumb ass at home!

4 – Weather guessers – I get guessing (I refuse to say predicting because they don’t predict shit,they guess and that is why they are called weather guessers) the weather is an important job and someone has to do it. But I don’t need a “breaking news” moment every five seconds while I’m in the middle of my Law & Order/Law & Order CI/Law & Order SVU marathon. #FOH

5 – My neighbors cats – All year round these bastards shit and piss in my yard, but I can’t see said shit and piss because the earth magically shields me. Unfortunately when it snows the earth is covered in white madness, which makes it easy for me to spot cat shit and piss on my front lawn. Needless to say I don’t like seeing cat shit and piss on my lawn. #notcute

and finally…

6 – Septa – I loathe our public transportation system in the snow, not only are they insanely overpriced but drivers get to make executive decisions on whether or not they choose to drive in bad weather. So if you’re waiting for your bus, keeping waiting cause that shit ain’t coming and no one is going to tell you it ain’t coming because SEPTA IS IGNORANT AS FUCK!

What are somethings you guys hate about snow storms?




3 thoughts on “Six Things I Hate about Snow Storms

  1. Lmao, I can relate to all of these, with the exception of the cats… but I can imagine that would drive anyone insane. And I can remember many a situation where we waited several hours for a bus, only to be told by a random passerby that the detour sign was wrong. I think (like your list) most things I hate about snow storms occur directly in conjunction with other people:

    1). I can never manage to say the “right” thing about snow… if I say I love snow, people tell me that I must never have had to shovel it. If I say I hate snow, people tell me I’ve lost my “sense of wonderment”, or some other such bs.

    2). If I shovel snow by myself, “Hey girly, need help? Why’s your husband making you do that?” If I let my husband do it, “See, women are lazy.”

    3). The people who complain to us that, because of the storm, they might only be able to take two vacations this winter.

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