What’s Healthy in a Relationship?

What’s Healthy in a Relationship?

As far as I know there isn’t a guide to being married/in a relationship, I often wonder where these standards of what is and  isn’t healthy in a relationship.

If we take our cues from society, there are a ton of things that aren’t “healthy” for our relationships.

Having sex with other people (not saying I agree or disagree just starting the conversation) via an “open” relationship where your partner is aware of your sexual tryst with other men/women.

Flirting, crushing and/or fantasizing about someone other than your mate. (which is completely ridiculous considering most men and women have crushes and fantasize about being with celebrities)

Spending an exorbitant amount of time with your friends in comparison to your mate.

Having hobbies that don’t include your mate.

Traveling without your mate. (now if your mate has no clue that you’re just bouncing to the islands for a weekend, there could be a problem)

There are plenty  of examples that I could write. I don’t understand, if a relationship or marriage is so personal and sacredly held between two people why do “we” allow outside forces to determine what is or isn’t healthy in our relationships?

If you and your mate have an understanding of what works for you in YOUR relationship what others think shouldn’t matter.

I think it’s completely hilarious that American culture prides itself on individuality, but when you look at all of the “traditions” and what’s upheld as the “status qua” it’s the complete opposite of individualism. Just look at the national ethos of living the “American dream”, a universal ideal that “anyone” can be prosperous and successful. But the idea of success and prosperity for most seems to mean the exact same thing, lots of money, big houses, expensive cars, fancy clothing and jewelry. If everyone is striving for the exact same things how can we say that it’s individuality?

Back to my point, your relationship is a partnership built and maintained with you and your  between you significant other in mind, no one has the right to judge you or tell you what works for YOU.

T

 

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3 thoughts on “What’s Healthy in a Relationship?

  1. You’re right – our society tells us what to “want” out of life, and what to do in our relationships, when both of those things should be up to us personally. We’re sold a cookie-cutter idea of what success and relationships should look like, and yeah, that does seem to lead to a lot of judgement. I stopped believing in people’s relationship “rules” the minute someone told me that “ideally”, your whole family should be the same color – I mean, if people can draw that kind of crazy conclusion, what else are they wrong about? I think the thing my husband and I get told the most is that it’s “unhealthy”, or some kind of social faux-pas for us to be best friends as well as a couple. They keep saying that, as the opposite gender, neither of us can be a good friend to the other. But their words are clearly driven by brainwashing (or ignorance), so I know they’re full of it.

    1. Wow, you can’t be best friends because he’s a man and you’re a woman? I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything like that, I mean I’ve heard men and women can’t just be friends because one will most likely have feelings for the other. Which is a little more believable than not being able to be friends while married because you’re the opposite sex. Smh sad that these people think that way.

      1. Yeah, we hear it all the time, lol. Oh wow, I guess that explains why a lot of my guy friends usually turned out to be expecting more than friendship. It is really sad that so many people have such a limiting perspective on life and love.

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