Aging and Body Image: Do you ever truly outgrow self doubt?

Aging and Body Image: Do you ever truly outgrow self doubt?

I think know I had more self confidence when I was younger…

I don’t know what it is but the older I get the more I second guess my appearance. I know you’re probably thinking “with everything that’s happening in the world this chick is concerned with her appearance”, but I am, so sue me I’m human.

I’m getting older and that’s exciting and scary at the same time.

It doesn’t help that the older my husband gets, he’s growing sexier. His grey hair makes him look debonair and refined. My grey hair makes me look like a stressed out old bitch.

I’ve given birth to three children, which shouldn’t surprise you when I tell you that  I suffer from S.M.B (Saggy Mom Boobs) which wouldn’t be so bad if I always suffered from S.M.B, but I had perky cute boobs before the #demkids. So going from perky to semi saggy is kind of a shock to the system ya know.

The thing that bothers me the most is that I can’t look past my imperfections in order to feel good about me again. I’m on this mission that seems like it’s never ending to lose weight and tone up, but what scares me most is reaching my goal and still feeling like I don’t look good enough.

I know my husband doesn’t share in my sentiments (thank goodness for that), but I can’t see what he sees. All I see are big thighs, alopecia, wrinkles, grey hair, stretch marks and stomach.

I guess I didn’t care too much about body image when I was younger because I had youth on my side, now not only do I think about my body image constantly I harp over how I have to look a certain way based off my age.

All of the imagery lately of 80 something year old women with the bodies of 18 year olds doesn’t make it easier; it makes me stress even more about getting my body in order because I can’t be a 40 year old mother of three (when I get to 40) and look like I’m a 40 year old mother of three or older.

Why does it seem like men make aging look easy?

T

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7 thoughts on “Aging and Body Image: Do you ever truly outgrow self doubt?

  1. Lol, you should see all of the men in my mom’s family… they make aging look very, um… not easy ^-^’. I hope you don’t get too down on yourself, because I think you look great! But I think I can relate… I never had much confidence in my appearance to begin with (not even when I was younger), so I’m always nervous about it when I go out – it’s a big insecurity for me. And yeah, it doesn’t help to have the media being harsher/more unreasonable with women about their appearances than they are with men. It can turn a woman’s whole life into a race against the “aging process”, instead of letting it be the fulfilling journey that it should be. I find it a real shame about the gray hair double-standard in this society – we seem to value gray hair in men more, because it can mean experience/wisdom, but apparently that doesn’t matter on a female. I’ve gotten boo’ed out of discussions about aging just for saying that I think gray hair looks nice on women too, lol ^-^’.

    1. I think you’re absolutely correct, I think I have to look at it as a fulfilling journey and not be so hard on myself. Thanks for the compliment. Society is definitely much harder on women. The double standards are insane to say the least.

      1. Lol, I agree – insane is a very accurate term! We’re given crazy standards to live by… and not just because some of them are too difficult, but also because many of these so-called “standards” are in direct conflict with each other. I can’t count how many times over the years I’ve been told, “Don’t wear that, it’s slutty.” but when I change my outfit, the same people come back at me with, “That’s unfeminine/not sexy enough.” The “rules” for women just don’t make any sense… it’s like society doesn’t know what to do with us, so it just makes up bullsh!t rules for us and laughs.

      2. I think that’s true! Also, I find it a bit unsettling when I try pointing out to people that you can pick up any history book to see just how ridiculously arbitrary and transitory all of these standards and fads are, and they act like they don’t know what I’m talking about… all you have to do is read.

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