Game of Thrones S6 E1-5: Deadman Rising & Flame Retarded Bishes

Game of Thrones S6 E1-5: Deadman Rising & Flame Retarded Bishes

I hate to review things because ya’ll know I get bored easily and tend to stop reviewing mid season, but we’re five episodes into season 6 of Game of Thrones and I felt the need to share.  I’m sure all who watch are caught up if not get your life together!

So this isn’t going to be a scene by scene review of the past five episodes more of a run through of all the exciting stand out moments I enjoyed.

  1. Jon Snow done came back from the dead.
  2. The red witch is like a thousand years old with saggy mom boobs and old lady booty when she removes her amulet.
  3. Ramsay’s has no heart, we expected for him to kill his father but he’s reached new lows murdering an innocent baby and his mother and now the bastard has Rickon Stark.
  4. got-6-featureArya got her sight back after being poor, blind, homeless and getting her ass kicked with a stick.
  5. Bran Stark is giving us three eyed raven vision’s from the past tease.
  6. After losing his penis and betraying the Starks, Theon has finally earned his name back, RIP Reek.
  7. Cersei is still pissed the High Sparrow made her walk through Kings Landing butt ass naked while having shit thrown at her. #saltyevilbitch
  8.  Tyrion is a boss when it comes to politics and politicking.
  9. The Dothraki gives zero fucks about all of Dany’s titles/names.
  10. “Not Joffery” aka King Tommen is a biatch who has no power in his own kingdom. (I guess that’s what happens when you’re not Joffery).
  11. Jon Snow can’t help but do lame ass Jon Snow shit even when he’s brought back to life and can be and do anything he wants to, because he was brought back from the dead. (I’m not a huge fan of Jon Snow in case you haven’t guessed)
  12. Dragons like Dwarfs.
  13. The Sons of the Harpy’s are backed by the slave traders Dany beat in seasons past.
  14. Brianne of Tarth has an admirer (and I think it’s hilarious). mtlkntbhodzjmimvam1hrmtlnmlsn2z1ym5xovnpbjrkukdqzf9jps8xntf4mjq4oje3njl4mta4mc8xmjgwedyymc9mawx0zxjzonf1ywxpdhkonzupl2h0dhbzoi8vczmuyw1hem9uyxdzlmnvbs9wb2xpy3ltawmtaw1hz2vzl2lqb2nua2f5dmfiamk0z2rtnhe3
  15. When you are the Mother of Dragons, fire ain’t about nothing, Daenerys Targaryen, is that bitch, not just any bitch but a flame retarded, slave freeing, silver haired, land conquering, your small time pillaging ain’t about shit I got goals bitch.

The ending of the last episode was EVERYTHING! Dany isn’t my favorite character by far, but I loved everything about her speech. She brought an entire tribe to their knees, now that’s how you overthrow some shit!

I’m loving the back story we’re getting from Bran’s visions, I’m slowly coming to the realization that Jon Snow isn’t the bastard of Eddard Stark, but instead the bastard nephew of Eddard Stark. It makes sense that Ned’s sister Lyanna Stark, who was betrothed to Robert Baratheon but kidnapped and raped by Rhaegar Targaryen might actually be Jon Snow’s mother. It was said that she begged Ned to keep a secret, what bigger secret is there than Jon Snow being her son and a potential heir to the iron throne. #puredopeness We shall see how accurate or inaccurate that theory is I’m guessing by the end of the season (fingers crossed).

Have you guys been watching the new season of Game of Thrones? Let’s catch up in the comments below.

T

#ValarMorghulis

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5 thoughts on “Game of Thrones S6 E1-5: Deadman Rising & Flame Retarded Bishes

    1. I was afraid that this season wouldn’t live up to the hype, but so far so good. Catch up so we can chat!

  1. Whoa! I can see what you mean about the red woman taking off her necklace! I was not expecting that. Agreed, Ramsay is a total bastard. I feel a little bad, but I was sort of hoping that Jon Snow would stay dead… he’s not as “awesome” or likable (to me) as so many other people seem to think he is. I loved the scene where Daenerys sets the giant hut (and the jerks inside) on fire – definitely my favorite Dany scene so far. I really am enjoying Bran’s visions… even if I’m not really enjoying watching Bran, lol.

    1. I agree I’m not a huge fan of Jon Snow, I don’t get the hype. Dany’s best scene hands down.

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