I’m absolutely positive that I’d end up an eternal cat lady/sex toy aficionado if I had to participate in the current dating scene.
The stories I hear from family and friends who partake in this grade A form of fuckery is scary, and entertaining.
I’m relieved that I found someone who is interested in the same ish I’m interested in, sex (duh), movies, kids, traveling, laughing at the expense of others unfortunate mishaps in life (especially when you tried to talk them out of doing the dumb shit that you now get to laugh at) and busting a grub outside of the house every now and then.
Having to weed through the fuck boys and hotep niggas in order to find a half way decent dude that I can tolerate for more than 24 hours, seems tasking.
Your choices for a mate boil down to dating someone at minimum of ten years younger than you (they possibly haven’t found their inner fuck boy or haven’t taken an african american studies class to become the all hated hotep nigga), doing hoe shit (in the words of Erykah Badu) and dating someone that is married or in a relationship, or letting your married/relationship having friends play match maker. Don’t do hoe shit!
The scariest part of the dating scene has to be online dating (which for some reason seems popular, I personally prefer meeting a person in real time making eye contact and engaging in a conversation the old fashion way), fuck boys and hoteps are easily identifiable as they both utilize jargon that was created specifically for them or they wear head wraps and sea shells around their necks (hotep).
Online you have the opportunity to be whomever you choose, which means you could essentially meet the man/woman of your dreams or some creepy awkward dude whose cat-fishing three other chicks simultaneously.
Or the poser who decided his best chances of getting “hits” was to lie about all the luxurious things that aren’t in his possession, put some amazing “D” on you and have you spending your money on him and yourself while telling your friends fraudulently how amazing he is until he commits credit card fraud and spends ten stacks on his real girlfriend who knew about you the whole time, because the internet (true story, this happened to a friend of an acquaintance).
Anyone that you come across who seems half normal you end up second guessing and decide clicking the wink button is too risky. I don’t know how people do it now a days, I’d be super unsuccessful in the dating scene because I’m allergic to bullshit, unfiltered and extremely forward which is a turn off for many and slightly tolerable for a select few.
If I ended up single I honestly think I would opt out of dating and rescue some cats, a lot of cats, tons of cats, I’d be that cat lady on the Simpsons that has so many cats I could use them as weapons to protect myself from the likes of fuck boys and hoteps…
In the words of a really good friend, “never trust a dude wearing a shell necklace”.