Random Thoughts: Fake it until you make it?

Random Thoughts: Fake it until you make it?

I come from a long line of strong women…actually I come from a long line of women who have mastered the art of “faking it until you make it”, I would never claim that I personify strength, I try my hardest to be as strong as my emotions allow me to be.

The world we live in is hostile, scary and painfully lacking in the apathy department, I’m amazed at how easily a person can justify the pain and torment of others as deserving because they choose not to “relate” to those people for whatever reason they find justifiable.

This post is extremely personal, as a black women person I fake my strength on a day to day basis but my eyes and heart tell a different story. I think I would be 100% correct in stating that black people and other people of color are extremely TIRED of the state of this disunion called the United States of America.

We have lived with the fact that we are considered less than and perceived as more dangerous than the fallout after an atomic bombing.

We fake it, everyday we fake our strength and we hope that one day the powers that be, will finally see us as free.

We fake it, when we go to work everyday and we sit at our desks surrounded by people who don’t look like us or are treated like us, because they aren’t us and they would never want to be us because being “them” is much better, because privilege.

I don’t know what it’s like to not be seen as black, because when I’m not around black people that’s all I’m seen and treated as. If I came from money I’d be the black girl with money, still black, still an adjective, a description of a partial human being. I say partial because WE are not treated as full human beings, we’re shadows, we’re an after thought the lives of animals are more important than our lives. Yet and still they chant “all lives matter!”, all lives except for a the black man, woman and child.

I’m sad, and I hurt on the inside because I live in a time where it’s possible to send probes millions of light years away to other galaxies, but to some I’m just a nigger complaining about something that comes without saying for my fairer skinned man, woman and child.

I want to be seen and treated like a human being, I want my sons and daughter, nieces, and nephews to be seen and treated like human beings. I don’t want to be an adjective, a description of what you think makes me, me.

At least try to understand me and everyone like me before dismissing our plight, we aren’t asking for special treatment WE JUST WANT TRULY EQUAL TREATMENT!

I’m tired of faking it…



3 thoughts on “Random Thoughts: Fake it until you make it?

  1. Damn, this is so true. I’ve always felt that you exude an air of unconquerable strength, but no one should be asked to be so strong all the time. White people don’t have to do it… why should we? I have seen so many black people handle all the violence, racism, and alienation with strength and grace under fire, and we are negatively profiled anyway; our beauty, strength, and struggle going completely unacknowledged – insult to injury. Some days I wonder what we have to do to finally be equal. That “all lives matter” crap makes me sick… no they don’t, or people wouldn’t have to be reminded that black people are in fact real people with the same inalienable rights.

    I can’t believe how many beautiful young black girls have come up to me and said things like, “I wish I were mixed like you.” It’s heart-breaking… I try and tell them, “No, you’re beautiful, and don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not.” but I know why they wish for that – it’s the same reason I used to pray to be white when I was really little. Everything’s geared towards the lightest common denominator. We’re not allowed to be pretty, we’re not allowed to be smart, we’re not allowed to be people in the presence of the “masters”. They’re the default of existence, and everyone else is an aberration. I remember when I was younger, thinking about whether I should get lighter-colored contacts and start wearing a light-colored wig all the time, in the hopes of being treated better by white people. I tried it, but I just couldn’t keep it up. Someone said to me, “Wow, I love mixed people with lighter hair and eyes… you know what I mean? Black hair and brown eyes are so plain, it’s almost like just being black.” I ripped the wig off my head and took the contacts out in front of him. I can’t believe how entitled, aggressive, and blind “America” is towards the struggle of black human beings. This country is guilty of some of the highest crimes against humanity, and it neither respects nor appreciates the broken backs upon which it was (and is) built.

    1. It’s sad, because our message will never get to the people who it. I’m glad you told those girls to love themselves and that you decided to be you and snatch that wig off. We shouldn’t have to feel like it’s “our” responsibility to fix a problem that we didn’t create. That’s what’s so frustrating to me, the white supremacy issue is a whole other monster that needs more than just black people to eradicate it. POC’s all over the country have to want to end white supremacy, but some of the non-black people of color are just as bad as the white people, racist towards blacks and in agreement with “our” demise.

      1. Yeah, he was so surprised when I took the wig off… I couldn’t do it anymore – I want to be liked for who I am, not for a disguise I’m wearing. I felt like I had to say something to those girls, because they’d clearly already gotten the message from society that they’re “not good enough”, and that’s so wrong. I want to see more black people growing up with confidence and pride in themselves. And that’s all too true… I’ve noticed so many other POC’s flocking to lick white people’s boots and help bash black people, all in a sad attempt to be accepted by mainstream culture. I’ve even seen some native americans do it – blaming both whites and blacks for their plight, conveniently forgetting that black people were brought here in chains, sharing much in common with the native peoples. I don’t get why more POC’s don’t want to band together to fight this. They seem so convinced that they’ll actually get something out of siding with white people.

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