My Love/Hate Relationship…

My Love/Hate Relationship…

2016-rio-olympics759-1Now that the 2016 Rio summer Olympics have wrapped up and I’ve come down off my high of patriarchal pride filled euphoria, claiming #blackgirlmagic and #AmericaStayWinning, my real feelings towards America start to resurface.

I  have a love and hate relationship with this country. Now don’t get me wrong there isn’t any place on the planet that I’d rather live, because I’ve fallen victim to the bullshit and abuse that is America, more specifically the black experience (I say black experience because I can only speak to my own personal experience which happens to be a black one, I can’t speak for other people of color because I don’t know what it feels like to have their experiences in America, that isn’t to say that the black experience is the only at times horrible experience in this country because I know it isn’t I just can’t speak to those experiences personally) in America. I don’t know what it’s like to be black anywhere else and from what I read and see in the news shit might just be a little worse elsewhere. At least I have the Constitution, Bill of Rights, Civil Rights Act of 1964 the EEOC, and some aspects of the judicial system to protect me here.

During the Olympics “we” pull together as a nation and rejoice in the exceptional athleticism of those hand picked to represent this fucked up ass nation. But what happens when a young black girl decides for whatever reason (because it’s her fucking prerogative) to opt out of placing her hand over her heart during our wack ass national anthem(I really hate our national anthem and any black person who knows history should never sing that hateful ass song)? Enter racist trolls that exist behind computer screens to say the things they would normally be fearful to repeat in person to the person they’re speaking of.

We don’t know why Gabby Douglas decided she didn’t want to place her hand over her heart, but last I checked we were fucking free! Who knew it was blasphemous for black people to not participate in the spectacle that is our national anthem (Mind you Michael Phelps laughed through the national anthem but no one said boo because white privilege). Ryan Lochte and his bro-douche buddies can destroy property in Rio and lie about it and get the “oh boys will be boys” speech, but Gabby Douglas was reprimanded via the media and bullied/verbally assaulted by social media trolls for doing NOTHING!

Everyone in America loves ALL of the athletes during the olympics, including the ones that are are considered second class citizens on any given day not the olympics. As long as #AmericaStayWinning it’s all love, but what happens when the medals are counted and the athletes go home? They become “those people” again, the ones who don’t deserve equal rights or to be looked at as human beings because “white is right” and anything else is less than.

Hence my love hate relationship with America, America is the shit when it’s the shit, but America can be shitty, really shitty when it’s shitty (eloquent writing, right?). It’s 2016 and we’re still dealing with the same issues from 1916, without the government openly allowing blacks to be treated like the last person at your cookout who can’t take the hint that it’s time for them to leave.

The olympics are a set up, like a fuck-boy that you didn’t know was a fuck-boy until he revealed himself as a  fuck-boy and then you were butt hurt when he fuck-boyed you.

How is it so easy to rejoice in being an American when #AmericaStayWinning, when in actuality two weeks from now if Simone Biles says or does something that ain’t white she won’t be America’s athletic “it” girl. If she decides to not give an autograph or smile for a picture will she then become a “black bitch or an angry black girl” by the person disappointed? It’s a possibility because America ain’t shit!

It’s the land of the free, and home of the brave, as long as you have the right skin color or are in the right tax bracket because green is better than being white in some cases.

Did you guys watch the olympics? Are you feeling pride and hate at the same time like I am?



4 thoughts on “My Love/Hate Relationship…

  1. I still can’t believe Lochte and company get a pass while Douglas is raked over the coals for, like you said, literally nothing. The Olympic-high we’re allowed every few years just isn’t enough… it reminds me of that movie “Race”, about Jesse Owens, this past February. He won us medals, stuck it to hitler, and his achievements were celebrated all across the nation… but he and his wife still had to use the cooks/servants entrance to a dinner being held in his own honor. Because when the Olympics were over, at the end of the day he was still “just an N-word”. I hear so many people talk like we live in a “post-racial” world. The constant fear of being attacked for accidentally angering white people is plenty proof that we don’t. That’s one thing I really hate about this country: you have to be so careful to be a good little black person and do as you’re told, and even then it’s not good enough. An article I read the other day had some words that really ring true here: what do you do when there’s no acceptable way to be yourself?

    1. Wow, my sentiments exactly. There is no fool proof plan to be acceptably black. I have a t-shirt that reads “acceptably black, clean, speaks well, nonthreatening” and every time I wear it white folk get in their feelings. It’s like change your perspective and when something that rings true hits your earlobes you won’t be in your feelings.

      1. Lol, that sounds like an awesome shirt! I never understood that… white people will wear whatever messages they want on a shirt (political or otherwise), and call it “expressing freedom of speech / expressing their feelings”. But the minute a black person wears anything that speaks to their own experience, white people panic or get upset. Aside from the obvious racism, that type of behavior also seems so spoiled and immature to me.

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