Recap: Being Mary Jane S3 E4 – Being Kara

being-mary-jane

“We must let go of the life we have planned… to accept the one that is waiting for us” – Joseph Campbell

The writers of this show are definitely giving us what we need in a storyline this season. MJ is breaking down the wall and showing some fragility, I love seeing the “human” side of her.

I love, love, love, that we’re getting an in-depth look into Kara’s world, I felt like seasons one and two should have given us more insight on what makes her tick, but I get why it didn’t.

What we know about Kara is that she works her ass off, and her family comes second. Finding out her son potentially has a learning disability adds to her already hectic life. Not saying it’s a bad thing, but if you’re a career driven woman you probably shouldn’t start a family #imjustsayin. And as we saw in the episode Kara agrees, she admitted something that most women will never admit, being a mother is hard as shit and it isn’t for everyone. Just because you have the ability to have a child(ren) doesn’t mean you should especially when you’re doing it for all the wrong reasons.

Continue reading “Recap: Being Mary Jane S3 E4 – Being Kara”

I’m finally a believer…

For-Do-you-have-authentic-relationships

I’m a firm believer in giving people the proverbial rope to hang themselves with, or in the eloquent words of  Maya Angelou “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time”.

More befitting in the case of this post, when people show you who you are to THEM, believe them the first time.

I’m some what of a softy when it comes to people I love, in this case a certain person has shown me who I am to them, but I just didn’t want to believe it. I wanted to believe I was more than what I am now realizing I really am. I thought I had the honor of being a part of the club of people of holding a special place in this persons heart, BOY was I wrong.

When you build new relationships with people and you find out that you’re just a consolation prize because of how you are introduced to the person, it stings when you finally realize it.

I don’t understand why it seems that it’s impossible for most people in my life to be honest, especially when you ask them before any drama happens.

Perfect example, about a year ago I sensed that my husband’s favorite aunt wasn’t feeling me so, I asked my husband and one of his siblings what they thought. My husband told me to ask his aunt, his sibling told me I was tripping and not to worry about it. I listened to my husband and asked his aunt, she informed me that there was no problem at all, fast forward to a few months later, I say something online that she thinks is about one of her nephews and when I tell you this woman let me have it. SHE GAVE IT TO ME RAW WITH NO LUBRICANT, everything I was feeling leading up to this moment finally came out-and-out of respect for my husband I took the tongue lashing with grace and class (which was extremely hard and shows how much I really love my husband).

Continue reading “I’m finally a believer…”

My First Love

Logo-First-Love-Serie-Sproud

I found my first love at the young age of nineteen, nineteen is such a young age how can a person possibly know what love is?

Well I knew what love was when the doctor wiped her off and laid her on my chest. See my first love wasn’t some random boy (or girl for that matter) my first love is my not so baby girl Kendra. Not only did she force me to grow up, she gave me purpose. She’s my longest relationship and one of my best friends, she’s been with me the longest and we’ve both grown together. I sometimes get teary eyed when I think about her growing up and moving on with life without me there to protect her and keep her safe.

She’s almost a grown woman, and I already find myself feeling left out of her social circle. She has her own little world out side of me and I find myself standing on the outside looking in, wanting to be a part of it, but knowing it’s her time to experience the things that I’ve already done.

Friends, love, hurt and pain, the hardest part of being a parent is knowing that you can’t stop your kids from experiencing pain because it’s a part of life and a lesson that they have to learn on their own. I have to step back and hope she’s learned all the lessons her father and I have taught her and be there for her when she needs us.

Easier said than done…

T

One Sided Relationship/Friendships

Friendship-55

Have you ever had the feeling or been told inadvertently that you don’t matter as much as you thought you mattered? Yeah that happened to me a few weeks ago, I had a conversation with someone I thought considered me family and/or a friend, but the person unconsciously let me know I basically wasn’t shit, but a listening ear. I’m not mad, and honestly it doesn’t change my feelings towards the person. I can’t stop feeling the way I feel just because someone else doesn’t feel the same way. I personally consider this person family, but it’s obvious to me now that this person doesn’t really consider me family.

Hey it’s cool, I’m learning that just because people say you’re family doesn’t necessarily mean that they feel in their heart that you are indeed family. I get it, but I wish people would say what they mean and mean what they say. I’m not a mind reader and I’m not a fan of bullshit, while I’m not mad I do feel a little salty because I’ve invested energy and time in this person thinking that it was a reciprocal relationship.

I’m really not sure what to do now, again I don’t feel different nor do I want to treat the person differently, but at the same time I don’t want to give my energy, time, and affection to someone undeserving of it.

T

Justin Timberlake is My BFF

Justin-Timberlake-2013

This is what I tell myself after the most vivid dream I’ve ever had the pleasure of having.

A few weeks ago for some odd reason my brain decided to use my imagination in a really odd and entertaining way. Given I am a fan of Justin Timberlake’s music (and some of his acting), but as far as Justin Timberlake the man I don’t have a real opinion about him because… ding ding ding you guessed it I don’t know him personally.

In this dream my husband who is an awesome musician (in case Justin ever reads this post, wishful thinking) was brought on as drummer for the 20/20 Experience Tour. After the show my husband brought me out on stage to meet Mr. Timberlake, I expressed to him Continue reading “Justin Timberlake is My BFF”