Game of Thrones: Season 7 – Ten Things I’ve Learned

Game of Thrones: Season 7 – Ten Things I’ve Learned

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I’ve been gone for a “minute” doing life shit, and by life shit I mean working, moming, wifeing, (I am fully aware that those words aren’t real words) repeat.

 Thankfully my love for all things Game of Thrones has brought me back to the blogger sphere. If you don’t watch GOT clearly we aren’t friends, could never be friends, kill yo self and why are you here? 

Any whoooo, I’ve learned a few things this past season and I’d like to share those little gems with you.

1) Being the Three-Eyed Raven gives you the right to be a seriously unthankful glazed eyed douche bag. #iwantwhatbranwassmoking

2) It’s ok to screw your sibling if you’ve blown up the only authority that could hold you accountable for your incestuous practices. Was I the only person who hated Cersai’s haircut and fashions this season? Looks like she shopped exclusively at the wicked stepmother’s boutique. 

3) File Scrolls, Empty Shit, Feed and Repeat; That’s the life of Maester in training.

4) Aligning yourself with the Mother of Dragons will get you tortured and poisoned; The alliance between , Daenerys, Yara and Theon Greyjoy, Ellaria Sand and Olenna Tyrell was a short lived epic failure.

5) Jon Snow continued to do Jon Snow shit and almost got himself killed trying to capture a white walker. #dumbestideaever

6) R+L = A; Lyanna Stark was not kidnapped by Rhaegar Targaryen she was in love with him and they married secretly in Drone where she later gave birth to her son Aegon Targaryen aka Jon Snow.

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Game of Thrones S6 E10 – “The Winds of Winter” (Spoilers)

Game of Thrones S6 E10 – “The Winds of Winter” (Spoilers)

Winter is here!

The season finale of Game of Thrones Season 6 aired last night, and I have to say the writers did a bang up job of leaving us wanting more, resolving series long rumors and theories.

Cersei and Sir Loras are to stand trial at the Sept, we watch ceremoniously as Cersei prepares to stand trail or so we think. Sir Loras mv5bmjmwntczndkynf5bml5banbnxkftztgwmtuxnzqyote-_v1_sy1000_cr006651000_al_is brought in and admits guilt and repents, asking the high Sparrow to allow him to serve the Gods. In doing so he has to denounce his claim to the Tyrell throne, and give up all of his worldly possessions. They accept and cut the symbol of the Septre into his forehead to which Margaery protests. The high Sparrow noticing the Queen mother is no where to be found and sends Lancel Lannister to retrieve her. We also see Not Joffery preparing for the trial. Cersei never planned on attending the trial because she’s an evil bitch who has tricks up her sleeves. She lore’s Lancel into a trap via Lord Varys’ little birds as well as Grand Maester Pycelle (who should’ve died three seasons ago, evil bastard). Long story short she blew the whole damn building up using dragons breath. Errrbody dead, Loras, Margaery, Margaery and Loras’ Father, Cersei’s uncle, the High Sparrow they all dead.

Not Joffery watches helplessly because Zombie Mountain won’t let him leave the room, he does what I wished he’d do a long time ago (Not Joffery sucks overall, he’s been a puppet of his mother, then Margaery, and lastly the High Sparrow, at least evil ass Joffery thought for himself), jumped out the window! Not Joffrey DEAD! Cersei’s the Queen Bitch now literally and figuratively. She leaves the sparrow nun looking chick who beat the shit out of her while she was locked up alive so that she can torture her ass via Zombie Mountain. I have to say I’m impressed with the level of evil the writers have given the Cersei character she’s like the evil Step-mother from all of the Disney movies times a thousand.

Continue reading “Game of Thrones S6 E10 – “The Winds of Winter” (Spoilers)”

Game of Thrones S6 E9 – “Battle of the Bastards” (Spoilers)

Game of Thrones S6 E9 – “Battle of the Bastards” (Spoilers)

And the last bastard standing is….. Continue reading “Game of Thrones S6 E9 – “Battle of the Bastards” (Spoilers)”

Game of Thrones S6 E8 – “No One” (Spoilers)

Game of Thrones S6 E8 – “No One” (Spoilers)

This weeks episode centers around Arya Stark, Brienne of Tarth, Jamie Lannister, The Blackfish and a little of the Hound.

Brienne arrives at Riverrun to find the Kings army lead by Jaimie Lannister (who she’s in love with), she requests to meet with Jamie where she asked for a favor to let her pass through to the gates in order to convince the Blackfish to come to Sansa and Jon’s aide in taking back Winterfell.  Jamie obliges her requests after a small lovers quarrel.

The Blackfish ain’t for taking back Winterfell because he needs to worry about maintaining his current hold on Riverrun. While this is happening his punk ass nephew who is a captive of the Fray is having a conversation with Jamie, where Jamie basically tells ole boy “I’m going to toss your baby boy into the river if you don’t give up Riverrun”. Because the nephew is the rightful heir of Riverrun, this is an easy win, Edmure requests to be let into the castle, but of course the Blackfish demands he isn’t because its a ploy of Jamie Lannister’s to take the castle (and he’s right) upon gaining entry Edmure tells his men to lay down their arms and open the gate. Brienne and her squire get away and make their way back to Sansa.

Continue reading “Game of Thrones S6 E8 – “No One” (Spoilers)”

Game of Thrones: S6 E7 “The Broken Man” (Spoilers)

Game of Thrones: S6 E7 “The Broken Man” (Spoilers)

So last weeks post I didn’t touch at all on what’s been going with Arya Stark, after getting her sight back the many face God tasked her with killing an actress from a local traveling theater group.

After watching the performance and speaking with the woman Arya decided that she can’t be “a girl” because bitch she’s Arya Stark! This leaves Arya in a predicament, because the many face God is a “G” about his and you get three strikes then your ass is dead (and you become a face). So he tasked the little blonde haired hater with killing Arya but keeping it cute and not making her suffer.

Arya finds her little sword (the one Jon Snow gave her, I can’t remember its name) and decides she ain’t about that many face life and books passage on a ship heading back to Westeros, except ole girl forgets the threat she received from the many face God, blonde hair douche shanks the ish out of Arya, she gets away using the skills she learned via her many face bootcamp training.

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Game of Thrones S6 E1-5: Deadman Rising & Flame Retarded Bishes

Game of Thrones S6 E1-5: Deadman Rising & Flame Retarded Bishes

I hate to review things because ya’ll know I get bored easily and tend to stop reviewing mid season, but we’re five episodes into season 6 of Game of Thrones and I felt the need to share.  I’m sure all who watch are caught up if not get your life together!

So this isn’t going to be a scene by scene review of the past five episodes more of a run through of all the exciting stand out moments I enjoyed. Continue reading “Game of Thrones S6 E1-5: Deadman Rising & Flame Retarded Bishes”

Game of Thrones Seasons 3 & 4 Overviews

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Soooo, I’m taking a break from making videos via YouTube, because honestly I’m just not feeling it at the moment, but I did promise coverage of my favorite show which airs its 5th season this upcoming Sunday. So instead of giving nothing I’m going to at least express via words. Without further adieu…

Season 3 – Game of Thrones

The season picks up where season 2 left off, the war of the five kings is coming to an end, Stannis Baratheon fails at his attempt to storm Kings Landing, Renly Baratheon is murdered and with his death comes the alliances of Houses Tyrell and Lannister/Baratheon. Rob stark has gathered all of his allies in the North and is awaiting his turn to destroy the Lannisters, while at the front line of the war Rob meets this nurse chick and they court kinda and fall in love. In exchange for help Catelyn reaches out to this guy who basically controls this bridge and can help them win the war. He’ll help but only if Rob marries one of his daughters (homies daughters ain’t hot at all I can see why he’s using the war as leverage nobody would marry these chicks in normal conditions). In the middle of this Catelyn’s dad dies so they have to go where she’s from on their way to the bridge dude to pay their respects to her pops.

Tyrion gets sent (I think not sure) to the front line of battle after securing a win for House Lannister at Kings Landing, for which he was shown no appreciation by the devil boy king Joffrey (I hate Joffrey, I think I’ve expressed that on several occasions). Tyrion has a thing for whores and ends up falling for a whore named Shae with whom his father Tywin finds out he’s smashing and threatens Tyrion telling him he needs to leave these hoes alone and stop tarnishing the Lannister name, its bad enough he was born half a man.

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Fan Girl: Ten Reasons you Should be watching HBO’s Game of Thrones

game-of-thrones

The best series to hit television makes its return on April 12, 2015, so I’m kind of a late comer to the series, I started watching GOT winter break 2013.

I have to say the closer and closer it gets to the premiere date,  I just can’t seem to stop talking about it. I mean I am TOTALLY obsessed with this show and my plan is to make all of you obsessed right along with me. So here are ten reasons why you should start watching Game of Thrones.

1) Tons of Sex – We all love a good love scene, but that’s the best thing about this show no love scenes just raw nasty sex.

2) Dragons – Three of them and they burn and eat people, need I say more.

3) Ice Zombies – with the zombie apocalypse craze going on you know there has to be zombies.

Continue reading “Fan Girl: Ten Reasons you Should be watching HBO’s Game of Thrones”