I’m in a funk and I don’t know how to get out of it…
I’ll have spurts of happy moments and then out of nowhere negative feelings will just come over me.
I deal with bouts of depression and I’m sure this funk is due to that, but in the past all it took was a little self reassurance, meditation and cake (I have the spirit of a fat girl what can I say) nothing has worked and I’m not sure what to do.
Depression is sooooooooo draining, I don’t have energy, I haven’t been to the gym in almost a month…It’s super annoying and I’m tired of it. But telling myself that I’m tired of it doesn’t make it go away, I’ve thought about going to see someone to get prescription medication but those side effects scare the shit out of me.
#kanyeshrug… maybe I need more meditation and cake… I’m going to force myself to go to the gym tomorrow morning, maybe that’s the little boast I need to get me back on the positive track.
Perception is a motherfucker (excuse my french) I always believed if I was unapologetically myself, the people who mattered would be accepting of me.
I was WRONG! no shit Sherlock!
What I’m learning about myself via the perceptions of others are these wonderful jewels;
- I’m not allowed to have an opinion
- I get Rah Rah about everything and that’s why the people I love and care about the most are scared to approach me when they feel I’ve done something wrong to them. (evidently in my past at some point I must have smacked a few bitches for having real valid problems with me – insert side eye here)
- I’m too honest
- I’m suppose to only post bullshit happiness on social media, because evidently that’s the only reason social media was created.
- I lack diversity
- I’m a racist (this is mind-blowing to me)
- I like drama or in most cases people don’t understand that confrontation does NOT equate to drama (Confrontation doesn’t always mean anger or aggression)
- I’m not allowed to be or feel passionate about anything because that equates to anger (because I’m a black woman of course and god knows we can’t just be passionate it always has to be we’re angry about something)
- People can’t handle my honesty
- I’M TOO HONEST!
Happy Friday Folks!