I always thought I’d stay the cool hip mom forevah (evah evah, evah evah), because black don’t crack and I’m banging on 37 but I can pull off 28 on any given day (maybe 25 when I lose these last 15lbs).
While spending time with my cousin (who’s cool as shit, cooler than me by the way) at the Roots Festival (I officially renamed it because I refuse to use the “P” word, know your history) I’ve realized I’m not as cool as I once thought I was and I be on some old lady shit for reals.
I have questions that maybe ya’ll young bucks can help me answer. Continue reading “Mom Chronicles: Festivals, Bedtimes & Trash Music”
I finally got around to watching the highly anticipated, love triangle/fatal attraction/desperate chicks do desperate shit thriller, The Perfect Guy starring Sanaa Lathan, Michael Ealy and Morris Chestnut.
At first glance of the movie trailer, I was hoping this movie would be a really good thriller with a great plot twist. (Don’t ask me why I thought there would be a plot twist, I just did blame my imagination.)
After breaking up with her boyfriend of two years David (Morris Chestnut) because he’s not willing to marry her and pop out babies right away, Leah (Sanaa Lathan) meets and hooks up with Carter (Michael Ealy) two months later. After dating for a short period of time (and obviously getting some good D) Leah takes Carter to meet her parents upon their return home Leah sees a different side of Carter, his sociopath side (which happens to be his real side because he’s not who he claims to be). After realizing something in the milk ain’t clean with this guy, Leah decides to end things with Carter.
Carter pulls a fatal attraction (which comes no where close to Glen Close’s fatal attraction, I’m sorry she still holds the crown for best crazy bitch ever in a movie), kidnaps Leah’s cat, kills her neighbor, leaks a sex tape between Leah and David (Leah and David decide to give it another chance after she realizes she moved way too fast with Carter) to her company and clients, kills David and then tries to kill Leah.
Continue reading “Suck It! The Perfect Guy”
The sex talk I continuously have with my seventeen year old (I say continuously because the “talk” shouldn’t be a one time thing, it should be something that takes place on an ongoing basis until you can’t talk about it anymore) isn’t the same conversation (singular) that I had with my mom.
I remember my mom telling me how babies were made, not what sex was.
Well I talk to my teen about sex, the good, the bad and the ugly. We talk about how it feels, how it’s a normal part of being human because we’re sexual beings. I’m not teaching her that sex is bad, like most of our parents (if you’re a 70’s or 80’s baby) did with us. And I’m definitely not being unrealistic in telling her she should wait until she gets married to have sex.
I do tell her she should wait until she finds a person deserving of her gift (and I say gift because “giving” your virginity to someone shouldn’t be something you do all willy nilly or just give to anybody especially not a #fuckboy.) this is something she’s going to remember for the rest of her life.
I on the other hand lost my virginity to someone I didn’t care about, out of pure curiosity. I was tired of hearing my girlfriends talk about sex and pretending that I knew what they were talking about. If I could go back in time the who and why I lost my virginity would change most definitely. I don’t want my teen to feel like I do and that’s why I talk to her honestly and openly about sex.
I’m not trying to be my daughters friend, but what I am trying to do is let her know that I’m #teamher. And if that means taking her to a store and buying her a dildo because she’d rather learn the art of self gratification, than hey I’m taking her to the store. I mean it’s the purest form of safe sex ever anyway.
When she does decide she’s found the right person to share her gift with, I’m hoping all of this sometimes uncomfortable talk will be taken into consideration in her decision making. I want her to be smart about her body and the choices she makes with it, from what she puts in her mouth nutritionally to what she puts in her mouth sexually. (yes I did go there and that’s how I talk to her, no holds bar. I don’t need her learning all the wrong shit about sex from her stupid friends who know just as much or less than what she knows.)
Communication is the greatest way to get through to your kids, talk to them and talk some more and keep talking until they start talking back to you. I’m telling you it works.
Parenting styles not only vary family to family, they vary within a household, my husband is the reasonable, responsible one who asks questions like “who’s going to be there”, “what time is it over” you know normal stuff. Whereas my response is usually “sure have fun!”, which isn’t a good thing all the time.
Our daughter probably finds it annoying that every time she asks to do something, I tell her to “ask daddy, and if he’s ok with it I’m ok with it”. I can imagine hubby’s frustration when I approve something for one of the children without obtaining any information.
I’m fully aware where this is coming from, growing up my household was pretty strict, my mom never let us go anywhere out of fear that someone would do something to us. And because I missed out on sleepover’s, and summer away camps etc., I ok pretty much everything my kids ask for, because I don’t want them to resent me because I was too strict.
I’m working on my hippyness, with the help of hubby I think I will be able to find mid ground between becoming a little more stern and being a complete flower child parent.
No one person has this parenting game down, we’re all learning as we go along kids and parents alike. Hopefully we all make the right choices and are successful in making some really cool, caring, responsible, giving people. That’s all I can hope for…