As far as I know there isn’t a guide to being married/in a relationship, I often wonder where these standards of what is and isn’t healthy in a relationship.
If we take our cues from society, there are a ton of things that aren’t “healthy” for our relationships.
Having sex with other people (not saying I agree or disagree just starting the conversation) via an “open” relationship where your partner is aware of your sexual tryst with other men/women.
Flirting, crushing and/or fantasizing about someone other than your mate. (which is completely ridiculous considering most men and women have crushes and fantasize about being with celebrities)
Spending an exorbitant amount of time with your friends in comparison to your mate.
Having hobbies that don’t include your mate.
Traveling without your mate. (now if your mate has no clue that you’re just bouncing to the islands for a weekend, there could be a problem)
There are plenty of examples that I could write. I don’t understand, if a relationship or marriage is so personal and sacredly held between two people why do “we” allow outside forces to determine what is or isn’t healthy in our relationships?
If you and your mate have an understanding of what works for you in YOUR relationship what others think shouldn’t matter.
I think it’s completely hilarious that American culture prides itself on individuality, but when you look at all of the “traditions” and what’s upheld as the “status qua” it’s the complete opposite of individualism. Just look at the national ethos of living the “American dream”, a universal ideal that “anyone” can be prosperous and successful. But the idea of success and prosperity for most seems to mean the exact same thing, lots of money, big houses, expensive cars, fancy clothing and jewelry. If everyone is striving for the exact same things how can we say that it’s individuality?
Back to my point, your relationship is a partnership built and maintained with you and your between you significant other in mind, no one has the right to judge you or tell you what works for YOU.