“When the Bough Breaks” HATED IT!

“When the Bough Breaks” HATED IT!

Now I know you’re probably thinking, “but the movie hasn’t come out yet, how you hate it?” Easy the storyline looks dumb as hell. mv5bmtc4mtk3mzk4nv5bml5banbnxkftztgwmdgznduyote-_v1_sy1000_cr006741000_al_I’m not going to even insult white people by saying the premise of the movie is on some white people shit, because it isn’t. Ain’t NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO self respecting woman of any color going to let some fine ass young girl come into her crib and carry her baby, around her fine ass Morris Chestnut lookin’ husband. FUCK OUTTA HERE times infinity!

I feel like the writers are lazy as shit to even explore this lame ass unrealistic storyline. Shit “The Hand that Rocks the Cradle” was pushing it on storyline realism.

I’m don’t see it for this movie, I’m not going to see this movie, I’m not netflixing this movie, I’m not bootlegging this movie, I’m NOT!

Dear Writers,

Stop insulting us by casting fine ass Morris Chestnut in movies that have lame ass storylines, thinking we’re going to go see it because fine ass Morris Chestnut is in the movie.

Given some of ya’ll are going to see it because fine ass Morris Chestnut and I’m not mad at you, but COME ON! Don’t pretend like you don’t think this is a potential “suck it!” masterpiece.

Say word? Do better Hollywood, Ya’ll already tricked me with “The Perfect Guy”, casting two fine men and making me sit through an hour and forty minutes of foolishness.

I’m disappointed from the trailer alone…

T

Batman v. Superman: 10 Things I Learned

Batman v. Superman: 10 Things I Learned

10. People really go to movies because of it’s popularity and have no formal background of the characters or the story. My daughter had the pleasure of sitting next to a woman who has never seen a Superman movie let alone read or seen anything DC comic related. During the movie, she asked herself if General Zod was Lex Luther’s dad. WTF!

The woman also asked my daughter if the movie was called “Batman v. Superman or Superman v. Batman”… SMDH why was she at the movie?

Continue reading “Batman v. Superman: 10 Things I Learned”

Ten Things Love & Basketball Taught Me

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Television seems to be my bff when I’m sick. Last while waiting up for hubby to return from the studio, suffering from boredom, I scrolled through HBO’s on demand movie selections to find something to occupy my time.

I found the gem that is Love & Basketball, starring Sanaa Lathan and Omar Epps. It’s hard to believe this movie is almost twenty years old. (And how awesome they both look now, this movie came out in 2000.)

If you’ve never seen it, I’ll try not to spoil it too much for you, because it’s worth watching; here are ten things Love & Basketball taught me.

  1. It’s likely that if your best-friend is of the opposite sex you might just end up falling in love with them, so pick your best-friend wisely. He should be handsome, athletic but not to bright  as to see the potential of your beauty until senior year of high school when you put on a dress  for a dance and your older sister hooks you up with a guy that looks like Boris Kodjoe.
  2. In the words of The Fresh Prince, sometimes parents just don’t understand. Both of the leading characters had to deal with parents who wanted to either live vicariously through them or change them. Q’s dad wanted him to do the things he didn’t do, concentrate less on going into the NBA and finishing college to have a degree to fall back on. Monica’s mom just wanted her to “act” like a girl and get over her tomboy phase, when all Monica wanted was to be the first girl in the NBA.
  3. Losing your virginity to you best-friend evidently makes the process less painful and more enjoyable. (Only in the movies)
  4. Spike Lee is capable of being behind a movie that isn’t erratic and all over the place.(I kid, Malcolm X wasn’t erratic and all over the place, but I was surprised while viewing the credits to learn he was one of the executive producers.)
  5. Evidently in the 80’s it was sexy to want to lick the sweat off of a guy’s ass. (Don’t look at me, Gabrielle Union’s character was the one who said it.)
  6. Don’t make your parents problems your problems. Q’s parents were going through some real adult shit and he internalized their issues and made their problems his problem. (now I could be a little bias, because I didn’t grow up in a two parent home where the parents later split due to adultery, maybe that’s something kids go through in these types of situations, but it seems Q made rash decisions based on the actions of two very grown people)
  7. When you’re selfish don’t be surprised when your man/woman steps out on you or calls it quits. You can’t disregard the emotions and feelings of you significant other no matter if your 19 or 40. Just because you can’t empathize with the situation doesn’t mean you should act like it’s not happening and continue to “do you”, what kind of support system are you if all you care about is yourself when your partner is going through it.
  8. Relationships are comparable to a good ole game of b-ball, love of the game, practice, patience, and teamwork will always lead you to a win.
  9. If you love something let it go, if it was meant to be it will come back to you. (Or in Monica’s case he will fuck his knee up, which then gives you an excuse you to come back to the states, find out he got engaged to Tyra Banks and then you challenge him to a game of basketball for his heart that you lose, but then he says sike naw I love you too and all is right with the world.)
  10. In the end don’t give up on your dreams, sometimes you can have it all, that dream job and that dream guy.

I’m a sap for a good love story and this story is as cute as you can get, puppy love turned it to full blown grown up love and marriage and we have basketball to thank for it. I think it’s a very relatable, especially in the case where the common thread that brings these two together is their love for basketball. I think there should be something that you can share in with your significant other something that gives your bond a little something.

Music brought my husband and I together, we’ll always have that bond of loving music. I think it makes the relationship that much more interesting when you share interests otherwise what’s the glue holding you together outside of physical attraction which can sometimes fade.

T

It could’ve been worse…Just ask Celie

I found myself for some reason randomly thinking about the novel and film adaptation of Alice Walker’s “The Color Purple”. 156_tmp1301027241-58

You know how some people want so hard for you believe that they have had a super hard life?  Or sometimes you might  find yourself thinking about how bad you’ve had it; and when I have those moments I think of Celie Harris’ life in ‘The Color Purple”, and I instantly start to think “it could’ve been worse”.

And before you state the obvious, I am fully aware that Celie Harris is a fictional character based in a fictional world from the imagination of Alice Walker.

Here are ten reasons, Celie would probably tell you to have several seats if you had the audacity to complain to her how hard your life is…

  1. The man she thought was her daddy raped and impregnated her not once but twice.
  2. The man she thought was her daddy stole both her babies and sold them to complete strangers.
  3. She was “given” to a man who didn’t want to marry her, only because her sister had come of age for the man she thought was her daddy to rape and eventually impregnate.
  4. After walking miles to her new husbands home, she was brutally attacked by her new stepson with a big ass rock as he proclaimed “she ain’t my mammy!”.
  5. She was verbally and physically abused by her husband.
  6. Her husband allowed her sister to come live with them after she ran away from home, then threw her off his land after his plans of gettin’ some ass were thwarted by the sisters moral compass.
  7.  Her husbands whore/girlfriend verbally abused her then became her best-friend and lover than left her and came back married to some man.
  8. Watching your best-friend and lover reconcile with her estranged daddy and realizing your life ain’t shit because you have no idea where your sister and children are.
  9. The man she thought was her father died and left all his money (which included money that belonged to her mother) to his new wife  and probably would’ve left the house and the shop if it weren’t for the fact that the house and shop belonged to Celie’s real daddy and remained in his name after he was lynched and her mommy remarried and died.
  10. Her husband intercepted and hid letters for a cool decade from her sister.

Continue reading “It could’ve been worse…Just ask Celie”

Beasts of No Nation (No Spoilers)

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Beasts of No Nation, follows the journey of a young boy, Agu, who is forced to join a group of rebel soldiers in Nigeria.  Agu’s childhood has been brutally shattered by the war raging through his country, he struggles with faith, revenge and the ideology of revolution or at least what he is fed via his commanding officer played by Idris Elba. This movie depicts the mechanics and violence of war through the eyes of a child.

I totally understand the accolades Idris Elba is receiving for playing this role and they are well deserved, but honestly I think the child actors deserve all of the credit for bringing this movie to life.

I won’t go into details in this post in case many of you have not seen the movie, and believe me you should. Just know it’s worth the two hours and forty minutes, the story is beautifully told and engaging. It is super violent in case that’s something you aren’t into, other than that I’d say it’s a must see.

After you guys have seen the movie let’s discuss your thoughts in the comments section.

T

Suck it! Movie Edition

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I am a self-proclaimed movie connoisseur, I tend to take it extremely personal when I watch a movie to find that I’ve only wasted 90 minutes of my life that I can’t get back because the writers were lazy as fuck when it came down to the story line.

Two examples for you, the movie John Wick , staring Keanu Reeves, “an ex-hitman who comes out of retirement to track down gangsters who take everything from him”. Everything meaning, his car and a puppy his dead wife gifted him on her death-bed.

His wife who I’m assuming is the reason he decided to quit murking people for a living died from cancer or something (we never learn how she dies, she just dead) some asshole gangsters inquirer about his car (I know nothing about cars so don’t ask me what the car was, it was black and obviously a big deal) asking if he’d sell it, he tells them to fuck off, but probably not, I’m not 100% sure because I still don’t understand why his wife is dead and it bothers me.

Cut to asshole gangsters finding his address breaking in kicking his ass killing his new puppy and stealing his car. He then goes on a vengeful killing spree until everyone responsible is dead… That’s it, that’s the whole fucking story for 101 min Keanu Reeves is trying to find Theon Greyjoy (because I don’t know him as any other character other than Theon) and kill him for killing his dead wife’s gift and stealing his car. Now I’m not going to lie the action was fun, whomever choreographed the fight scenes I applaud you.

But to the lazy ass writers COME ON MAN! A DOG AND A FUCKING CAR! Like why couldn’t they have been the reason his wife died or maybe kidnapped her because they wanted him to be a hitman again and he was like naw I have a wife and I’m happy I don’t want to murk people for a living anymore. The story was maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad lazy! it took more thought for me to type all of those damn A’s than for the writers to come up with that lame ass story.

Second example,

Continue reading “Suck it! Movie Edition”