To Block or Not to Block?, That is the Question…

To Block or Not to Block?, That is the Question…

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There was a segment on the morning news a few months ago on social media and friendships.

A few of the anchors (women) agreed that going through the motions of “blocking” someone with whom you are no longer friends or in a relationship with was a bit extreme, and showed that you still cared about the person. I disagree, when I break up with you no matter what the level of break up, friend or lover. I don’t want you to have the ability to “peak” in on my life, we’re not in a relationship for a reason.

I blocked a few ex-friends but one specifically is currently a colleague I blocked this person from everything, or at least all of the social media outlets that I’m a participant in. It’s not because I’m salty or still mad, it’s because I know human nature, I don’t want this person or anyone that I’ve ended a friendship with to have access to my life.

I know you’re probably thinking, “you’re thinking very highly of yourself to think someone would want to check up on you” and that’s sort of true, the fact is we see each other on a daily basis because we work together, and I know the person has the tendency to “check up”on people,  exes, the exes of the ex, other colleagues. So I decided once I ended our friendship to be proactive and ensure the person didn’t have access to my life.

I think once you end a relationship why have the unnecessary connections, especially if you don’t foresee any interactions in the future, EVER. Blocking works both ways, the person has no access to you and you to them, it’s a good thing especially in the case of a toxic relationship, you won’t be tempted to “check up” on the person.

Some people may agree with the news anchors, I just believe that when you end something, end it for good and keep it moving…

T

Trust

I will never fully understand the obsession some people have with “checking” up on their partners via social media. If you can’t trust your significant other to behave him/herself online then I would imagine in “real” life they’re 100x worse. And “checking” up on them via social media should be the least of your concerns.

Trust is a necessity in any type of relationship, if don’t trust your partner you probably shouldn’t be with them. I think unrealistic expectations of your mate is one of the biggest reasons trust goes out the window (that and not trusting them to begin with, in any case you should probably do some soul searching to find out why you have trust issues and if the person is worth your trust) men and women don’t automatically go blind to other men and women just because they fall in love.

I’d be delusional to think my husband doesn’t still find other women attractive. He’s going to find them attractive because his love for me doesn’t make him blind, just as my love for him doesn’t make me blind.

I don’t check his phone or social media account because I trust him, I trust that we both have the same mutual respect for our relationship. I trust that he’ll respond in the same manner I would if a woman hit on him (it’s flattering obviously to be found attractive by the opposite and/or same sex depending on what your into) he would be flattered and keep it moving with whatever he was doing before she tried make her “move” and obviously I have/would do the same.

Trust is something you either have or don’t have, and no amount of reassurance from your significant other is going to make you trust them especially if it’s something deeper.

I honestly think it’s sad and a little neurotic to consciously put yourself through that much stress where you turn in the lead detective on the “I can’t trust this dude/chick case” called your relationship. It’s madness!

I’d rather be at peace, alone; then driven mad because I’m don’t trust my partner.

T

I Changed My “Name”

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Well I didn’t change my real name, I just changed the name of this blog. I originally chose the name to match the name of my now deactivated YouTube channel.  I decided it made sense to change the name to reflect what this blog is really about. ME! and all my gloriousness.

I also did a little social media purging, I deleted my Facebook “page” honestly I don’t see the point of having a blogger page, if I want to share my thoughts via this blog, I’ll just share it to my personal Facebook page.

Honestly I’m not a “public figure” and I’m not a blogger in the sense that I’m looking to gain notoriety, popularity or income from doing this, so all the extra work of trying to interest “followers” was essentially a waste of time. I also deleted that Tumblr thing that I had no real use for and I’m currently having a battle with Twitter; I’m trying to delete that account as well, but it seems Twitter is the devil and has decided it’s going to frustrate the shit out of me to sway me from deactivating it.

Since Twitter wants to be a tool, I just unlinked it from this blog and I plan on never using it EVER.

So I’m down to one form of social media, that being Facebook, me thinks I’m winning my battle for social media autonomy.

Any who welcome to “Adventures of T”, I hope you weren’t hoping for change in content because there isn’t, I just changed the name #thatisall. Sorry to disappoint you…

T

Pimp Game 101

Pimp as defined by Webster’s dictionary – a man who controls prostitutes and arranges clients for them, taking part of their earnings in return.
How does a pimp gain control of said prostitutes? By making them think they need him, does this concept sound familiar to you? It should.

Social media has and will always be “our” pimp, how so? You might ask. Let’s look a little closer at our pimp friend called social media; Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and various blogging websites including WordPress. What’s the main focus of an individual utilizing any of these outlets on any given day? Getting noticed/attention of any kind; “likes”, retweets, reposts and whatever happens on Tumblr (I’m not absolutely sure what Tumblr is, even though I have Tumblr, peep the social media pimp game? smh)

“How many followers or friends you got?” You ain’t shit if it’s anything less the one thousand boo boo.

Continue reading “Pimp Game 101”

What does having a social media presence mean to me?

The opposite of what its suppose to mean…self expression, free therapy, a place to leave my thoughts, an outlet to break up the monotony of everyday life.

I use twitter to tweet my blog posts, same for tumblr, I don’t instagram because I hate how I look in pictures and I don’t want to bore people with pictures of my kids. I still enjoy Facebook, mainly because it’s losing its popularity, it’s not “cool” therefore it’s just right for me.

The best part of not being a popular blogger or “present” within social media, is my thoughts are mine, my personality is authentically mine, I’m not “fronting” because now I’m a “brand” and I have to worry about what my sponsors think of me or what I say.

I do this because I literally have a lot of shit on my mind, and posting to this blog helps keep me sane.

Plan and simple, when it turns into a “job” I’ll probably quit, because honestly I don’t want to have to filter myself or change what I say to fit into a mold that can’t hold me.

If you get something out of shit I have to say, that’s awesome, if you don’t that’s still awesome, that’s the best part of blogging without the intention of being a blogger on the road to “public figure”.

Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being a public figure if that’s what you want, that shit takes work and I don’t see how some of these people do it. Constantly checking yourself because the “light” is on you and you don’t or can’t be seen in a certain way.

I enjoy being a nobody who talks shit when I feel like it… there’s something freeing about that…

T