Arguments bring out the best in people?

I had the pleasure of having the dumbest argument of all time with my husband last weekend. It was so dumb that I can’t honestly tell you what it was about, but I can recall one statement he made in said argument. The statement caused me to take a step back and reevaluate myself. (Cause that’s what I do, I’m deep don’t be mad you ain’t got no depth to yo self)

He said, “You always say what you whatever to people, but no one can say what they want to you”. This I have heard before, a troll who shall remain nameless said this to my husband in reference to me, my brother has said it to me,one of my sister-in-laws, an ex-friend, my daughter, my half-sister, and one of my brother-in-laws.

You know the saying, it goes something like “if everyone is saying or believes the same thing, then it might be you”? Yeah, I think that saying is a bunch of bullshit and here’s why…

I think for the most part ALL of us get defensive when we feel someone is saying something we don’t like, it’s human nature. We get “in” our feelings and fail to see the possibility that the words we choose to take offense to might actually be what we need to hear.

So in hearing my husband say something that a bunch of other people have said to me in response to them not liking the “truth” as I see it. It actually didn’t bother me, because again he only made the statement in response to something I said that he didn’t like.

All of these people saying the same thing just makes me realize how fucking AWESOME I am! And that the “truth” as I see it hurts, especially when all you’re used to hearing is bullshit covered in lies, sprinkled with delusions of grandeur. I’m just saying I’m a realist and some people can’t handle what’s fucking real, too bad for you.

And furthermore, I’m wondering who are all these magical people that let me say whatever I want to them with no reciprocity? I’m not Holly Holm or Ronda Rousey; I’m not out here kicking people in the necks if they respond to something I’ve said. It’s all a bunch of malarkey if you ask me.





Random Thoughts: Star Wars and other Funny ish


A clear sign that someone isn’t a Star Wars fan, when you make witty/quirky references and silence is the only response. Evidently a friend of my husband didn’t get the memo. He’s been making Star Wars references for god knows how long to one of his friends, and while in attendance for the latest reference my husband poses the question to the friend “Are you a Star Wars fan?” his response is, “No, not really”.

LMAO! This is priceless, I couldn’t make it up if I tried. So the other friend responds, “I’ve made Star Wars references for like ever and you never said anything, letting me look like a jerk…I’m going to have to reevaluate our friendship”. 

I thought this was one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a minute. As a friend why would you continue to let your friend make references about something you clearly have no background of? It just seems like a cruel, hella funny joke, why not just say “hey friend, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, can you please stop or clue me in.” LMAO!

Have you ever gotten a response from someone and it took you a good 10 minutes to reply back and the only thing you could say was “true”, because you didn’t know how to answer? No, my hubby did and I almost rolled out of my seat laughing because I knew that “true” wasn’t the real response he wanted to give.

I like to read and/or watch hilarious things on public transportation so that people can look at me and wonder what’s so funny. Is that weird? #kanyeshrug

I have the best laughs with my husband, our humor is almost identical. He gets me and I get him, its awesome to have someone to laugh with even when no one else gets it…


Self: Perception Is a Bitch!


Perception is a motherfucker (excuse my french) I always believed if I was unapologetically myself, the people who mattered would be accepting of me.

I was WRONG! no shit Sherlock!

What I’m learning about myself via the perceptions of others are these wonderful jewels;

  1. I’m not allowed to have an opinion
  2. I get Rah Rah about everything and that’s why the people I love and care about the most are scared to approach me when they feel I’ve done something wrong to them. (evidently in my past at some point I must have smacked a few bitches for having real valid problems with me – insert side eye here)
  3. I’m too honest
  4. I’m suppose to only post bullshit happiness on social media, because evidently that’s the only reason social media was created.
  5. I lack diversity
  6. I’m a racist (this is mind-blowing to me)
  7. I like drama or in most cases people don’t understand that confrontation does NOT equate to drama (Confrontation doesn’t always mean anger or aggression)
  8. I’m not allowed to be or feel passionate about anything because that equates to anger (because I’m a black woman of course and god knows we can’t just be passionate it always has to be we’re angry about something)
  9. People can’t handle my honesty

Happy Friday Folks!


Random Thoughts: What’s going on…


There is so much going on in the world, in the United States where I live, a ton has to do with the murders of black women and men by police, and racial extremist (terrorist).

It’s extremely disheartening and I try not to over think it because I’m an extremely sensitive person, I’m what some would call an “emotional empath”, which in a nutshell means I’m hypersensitive to the emotions and energy of other people. As you could imagine the news is emotionally draining for me, I try to stay away from it but with this age of social media there is no real way to completely get around it.

A lot of things I don’t understand, like why are some people so hell-bent on objecting to the #blacklivesmatter movement, I’m sorry but in this country there is clear history of some whites taking it upon themselves to eradicate the land of black people. The killing of black people is and will continue to be an epidemic until WE ALL come together to make sure it ends. It’s not a black people problem, it’s an ALL people problem. If it’s not racist vigilantes, it’s the police, and some ignorant people make statements like “oh they’re going to pull the black card” well if racist people didn’t create racism against blacks there would be no such thing as the “black card”.

I don’t even want to touch the whole debate over the confederate flag and how people don’t understand the symbolism of the flag, it is a reminder of oppression and inequality for blacks. IMO saying its “southern pride” is a bunch of bullshit. If you know history you know the south seceded from the north because they wanted to continue owning black people, so fuck outta here with the bullshit you’re trying to feed me.

I’m tired of trying to find the good in people, I’m learning that people I thought were in my life because they genuinely wanted to know me really weren’t. And it bummed me out for a while and I started to second guess myself and wonder what was wrong with me. I realized hurt people are incapable of loving someone when they don’t know how to love. I feel like I’m always captain “save a hoe” when it comes to people I love, going out my way to make sure they are ok and genuinely being a cheerleader for them, lending myself in any way that I can and not realizing that there is no reciprocity.

I’m getting older and that’s scary, I think about life after death, where does my life force go next. I’m not religious I don’t believe in heaven or hell so those are not options for me, which leaves me feeling kind of empty. I’m learning, thanks to hubby that I shouldn’t worry about things I have no control over and appreciate my life as it is every day.

I miss wine, I’ve been trying to fine tune my eating habits and that means no alcohol.

I think I’m suffering from Alopecia Areata, I won’t know for sure until I go back to the dermatologist, its kind of rough I have a bald spot on each temple, it’s messing with my confidence so I’m wearing wigs more.

I feel like I need to be more social and spontaneous, It’s super hard because I love being home with my family, I enjoy the comfort of my home, feeling safe with the people I know for certain love me.

Any random thoughts you guys want to share? What’s going on with you guys?


Random Thoughts: It Gets Weird inside my Brain


Whispering is creepy

Horses scare me

My husband has a pair of cargo pants that make me uncomfortable

Kids are super cunts sometimes (is it bad to say that out loud? whatevs its true, they’re so inappropriate but we give them passes because “they don’t know any better” FOH)

Social media has made us all into attention whoring zombies

My sister-in laws don’t like other people’s feet touching their feet and my husband loves to torture them with his feet (lol)

Continue reading “Random Thoughts: It Gets Weird inside my Brain”

I’m not good at Social Media


I’m finding it hard to be “present” in the world of social networking/social media, these are a few reasons why I think I’m no good at social media.

I’m too honest, and that seems to bug people, evidently honesty isn’t necessary in the realm of social media. Everyone likes rainbows, fallacies and lies.

I’m not very good at seeming seamlessly interesting. I think the people who are posting these great things about themselves and their lives have it hard. Because if you were really that interesting why would you feel the need to post all of your interesting adventures minute to minute via social media. (This doesn’t mean bloggers, because most bloggers write about their adventures after the adventure is over – see how that works attention whores. See there I go with that damn honest bug again).

I don’t take myself that seriously, it seems everyone is saying or doing something profound on social media. I’m super random and so are my thoughts.

Continue reading “I’m not good at Social Media”