For Colored Girls Who Want Peace of Mind When Choking a Bitch is never an Option…

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I feel like my period makes me much angrier (emotional) than normal, I mean I’m typically frustrated as soon as I leave my house every day because I hate leaving the tranquil serenity that is home.

All of these emotions that come along with “PMS” (which for the record is not bullshit, it’s real!) has me all kinds of fucked up. I’ve noticed that PMS creates a force field of constant hostility, happiness and sadness. Last week, I cried because a family won Family Feud, WTF! real tears yo (I wasn’t sad I was super happy for them). This is not the first time this has happened during PMS week. People with whom I dislike at work (one person in particular, because I wholeheartedly believe she’s a bigot) I actually want to throat chop. I have to be super conscious of my facial expressions during PMS week, because I’ve been known to make the “bitch please” face when someone says something stupid, asks me a question or breathes in my direction.pms-blog

A friend of mine wrote a beautiful poem (Ruby Flo) about her period, and I remember reading it and thinking, “damn maybe, I’m being too hard on this awesome feminine gift that was specifically created for my kind and my kind only”, then cramp day hits and I’m like “fuck this shit I wish I were a boy, why do men not have to deal with this shit, I hate life”. 

Bloat is real, if you’re thinking of being cute during PMS week; plan on being salty because bloat gives zero fucks about your cuteness.

The best gift my period has to offer is loss of appetite, a bitch loses at least five pounds during the week, but then I gain it back during PMS week. SMH you see how this is a vicious cycle that hurts all of whom experiences it once a month.

I know this is an odd post to read, and you probably weren’t expecting it, but I’ve been reading shitty shit all week. And honestly I’m tired of being in my feelings, I can’t wait for this presidential race to be over with. I wish you could legally kill all the stupid racist people in the world…

T

 

 

Unrealistic Expectations – Ladies Edition

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I can recall times when I was a single lady, discussing what I wanted in a mate and listening to my girlfriends do the same. At the time most of my girlfriends and I shared the same views on who our “perfect” mate would be. Someone accepting of our children, honest, trustworthy, considerate, etc., no where in our preferred characteristics of a “perfect” mate were, what I like to call superficial additives.

What do I mean by superficial additives? Some women confuse a man’s worth i.e., his earning potential or assets with his character. As a married broad, some of my single friends want a man who makes a certain amount or drive a certain car, it seems that no one is interested in a man’s character, but more so his earning potential/tax bracket.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with a woman who knows what she wants in a mate, whether that be superficial or not, what does bother me is a woman’s expectations of her mate and what she has to offer not matching what she wants.

You want a man to look a certain way, but you’re appearance doesn’t match what you want your mate to look like. Or you want a man to make a certain amount of money, but you’re not bringing the same to the table. In my opinion you attract what you put out there, if you want to be taken care of you should probably look like you take damn good care of yourself first. If I’m a man and you want me to treat you like a Porsche you damn well better look like a Porsche or at least a BMW.

It makes no sense to have such high expectations of your partner when you don’t have your ish together. I remember a “friend” telling me that I had low expectations for not wanting a “baller”, and that was fine, that was her opinion, we were looking for different qualities in a man. I earn my money, so I don’t NEED that “quality” in a man, superficial additives are not qualities in my opinion. Yes its fun to know if I want to buy some shit, my man can buy it for me, but there is nothing wrong with him not being able to buy it for me.

What makes a great man/partner is character, what’s the point in having a man who can buy you everything under the sun if he’s a low down dirty dog. Superficial additives don’t make the man, or at least they shouldn’t and if they do maybe you should do a little soul-searching and ask yourself why do the additives matter more than character?

T

Feminism is NOT created equal

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fem·i·nism

ˈfeməˌnizəm/
noun

 1. the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men, the women’s movement, the feminist movement, women’s liberation, female emancipation, women’s rights.


Evidently, feminism isn’t created equal. I mean the definition is clear, cut and simple, equal rights for women. I’m not a rocket scientist but I would assume that includes ALL women, white women, black women, latino women, asian women, and transgender women, you know women.  Well according to statistics (wage statistics show white women, earn more than all “other” women) and “white” feminism I’m sadly mistaken, it’s extremely hard to discuss such a sensitive topic without getting emotional, so I’ll try my best.

I’m fully aware that the ignorance of the minority should never be associated with the majority, now I don’t want to believe that all white women whom hold the designation of feminist share the views of the minority, who’s views on feminism practices the exclusion of women of color and trans-women. Like really? WTF! Why is this even an idea? Who is in charge of coming up with such an idiotic concept? Oh let’s fight for the rights of women, but only certain women. So white feminism is a thing and is comparable to a racist white girls only club, only in America!How are we as a nation suppose to move past issues like this when people are constantly trying to find ways to separate us instead of working to see the beauty in what makes us exactly the same.

I’m beyond exhausted with the nonsense that ensues with being a black (woman) citizen of the United States of America.

Thank goodness for the young people (Amandla Stenberg, and Rowan Blanchard) for speaking out against this antiquated train of thinking. Makes me feel there is at least hope for the next generation…

T

The Great Debate: What do Women Really Want?

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A part from my many reality TV vices, I also enjoy a good scripted television series every once in a while, one of those being, “Being Mary Jane”. I’m not going to run down an overview of the show I’m sure most people have heard of it by now.

The season finale aired on Tuesday March 17th and to his disdain (because he pretty much hates anything on tv that isn’t action or syfy related) hubby watched with me, during and at the end of the show he expressed concern for the main characters mental/emotional state of being.

His words “That’s the problem with y’all women, y’all don’t know what the hell you want, ole boy was honest and told her he didn’t want to be in the situation with the baby mama, and agreed to have a baby with her. Now she’s up vacuuming and acting crazy after she gets what she wants”… 

To that I can only say the television character shouldn’t be taken as a universal representation of women. Yes Mary Jane is a mess, and in my opinion she doesn’t know what the hell she wants. But placing all women in that bubble seemed like a bit much or does it?

I’ve had plenty of conversations with women about what they look for in a mate and what would make them happy in a relationship and nine times out of ten, a lot of what they wanted was contradictory.

But is that enough to say women don’t know what they want? I don’t think so, but then again I’m bias aren’t I.

What do you guys think, do women know what they want?

I think Chris Rock said it best, We want EVERYTHING, and shit what’s wrong with that.

T